Yes, you heard me—you could be bravely breathing freely, in church or at the swap meet or at a Super Bowl party, where you have doffed your mask in favor of one of those helmets that holds two beers you can suck on through attached tubes, being a naturally free American instead of a sheeple who is afraid of dying of the plague, when suddenly you feel your body getting unnaturally hot and you crisp into eternity, another victim of kosher karma from the sky.
That the Jews dominate space is well known. Besides the Space Laser, aka the Dreidel of Doom, they also have a Space Mezuzah and a Space Menorah, the latter of which is capable of launching Hanukah Candles from Hell to strike anywhere on Earth. George Soros, the world’s cleverest and most conspiratorial Jew, bought the entirety of space from the aliens when it was just a useless vacuum, and now NASA has to rent it from him and the other globalists when they want to launch a satellite or fake landings on the Moon.
The Deadly Jewish Space Laser is enough to make any decent American put on buffalo horns and storm the Capitol, but for me it presents a more pressing personal problem, because my Significant Other is Jewish and she, to put it bluntly, thinks she is entitled to one. She keeps an enemies list, much like Nixon did, of people who have crossed her, and being fried from the sky like greasy latkes is a fate she thinks their deeds, however long ago they were committed, deserve. She is very enthusiastic about gaining control of the JSL and burning her enemies from the heavens.
Me, being an easygoing goy guy, should have nothing to do with her plan to scorch holes in the skulls of her enemies, but I have been tasked with finding her a Deadly Jewish Space Laser she can buy, or at least schedule use of, for her birthday, which is in two weeks.
And, really, any Space weapon of mass destruction will do. I’ll just tell her it’s Jewish. If I can get an hour or so on the Muslim Magnifying Glass in the Heavens, Burning Infidels Like Ants, that’ll be fine. Or the Pope’s Photon Paralyzer. Or the Hindu Hot Gamma Jammer.
Does anybody have George Soro’s cell number?