The dispute less than 80 miles northeast of Las Vegas between rancher Cliven Bundy and the U.S. Bureau of Land Management had simmered for days. Bundy had stopped paying fees for grazing his cattle on the government land and officials said he had ignored court orders.
Anti-government groups, right-wing politicians and gun-rights activists camped around Bundy's ranch to support him in a standoff that tapped into long-simmering anger in Nevada and other Western states, where vast tracts of land are owned and governed by federal agencies.
I chanced across this bit of news yesterday after lunch and thought to myself, Well, there's got to be a reaction to this. Sure enough, I clicked on a Huffpost video and Senators McCain and Graham and Syrian President Bashar al-Assad were sneering at Obama's lack of will in failing to provoke a Waco-style standoff over three hundred cows and an endangered tortoise.
MCAIN: Just another example of Obama's fecklessness. International bullies everywhere think that they can get away with anything because of Obama's refusal to plunge the nation into war, in this case civil war, over any small incident or another.
GRAHAM: True 'nuff, fellow Senator. Vladimir Putin will throw a girl band in prison for months just for messin' with him. That's why when he goes invading, he gets respect. Obama is going to regret not treating northbound I-15 near Bunkerville as a breakaway republic that needed to be cruelly stomped into submission.
MCCAIN: It only encourages America's enemies to see us refusing to open fire on our citizens. I mean, they're totally convenient. If we won't send a military column a few miles north of Vegas to shoot a few of our own outback crazies, can our allies trust us to defend them? It reminds me of Benghazi.
GRAHAM: Benghazi? How's that?
MCCAIN: Almost everything reminds me of Benghazi, if you hadn't noticed. But to get back to the subject of Bunkerville, it's my belief that if Obama can't stand up to a bunch of tumbleweeds armed with light weapons, the Iranians are absolutely going to go ahead and build a bomb.
GRAHAM: I couldn't agree with you more, Senator. How about you, Bashar?
BASHAR AL-ASSAD: I'm solid with you guys. I don't mean to brag, but when it comes to killing my own citizens, I'm a guy that can really bust a move, if you know what I'm saying.
MCCAIN: And we respect you for that. Right now Obama's only going after those rebel snakes in Nevada with "legal and administrative" means. What's that sound like to you, Senator Graham?
GRAHAM: Like the weapons of wimpitude. Like international sanctions, only for sun-baked armed idiots. What do you think of international sanctions, Bashar?
BASHAR AL-ASSAD: We in Syria have enjoyed them for years. I can tell you confidently that they don't work. Me and my inner circle have enough wine, prostitutes and Viagra to last us at least until our ally Russia invades all the countries in between us and them and rescues us from the rebels. Sanctions don't scare us.
GRAHAM: America would get back some of the international respect we've lost if we were more like you and Putin, Bashar.
MCCAIN: (Rolling up sleeves) You bringing up sanctions reminds me that you're a wanted international criminal, Bashar. How did you get on this show anyway?
At that point I woke up and realized it was all a dream, probably brought on by eating too many taquitos, causing me to fall asleep in front of the computer. I also noticed that the next link on the page was headlined ANGELINA JOLIE 'LOOKALIKE' FORCES CABBIE INTO SEX, THEN STABS HIM SIX TIMES.
Glad I didn't dream about that.