And, militantly, you are saying, “Notre Dame has a law school AND a football team? Wow. Why didn’t the Attorney General just take in the game and keep his cheeseburger chute shut, thereby obeying the First Amendment, which says the US gov should make no law establishing a religion?”
The AG dismissed this argument by saying the Founding Fathers didn’t really mean that—they probably left it in because they ran out of Wite-Out while doing the Constitution and what they really wanted was for the US to be one great big Jesus-land from the get-go. The Amendment the FF’s were really serious about was the Second, which Barr and his pals interpret to mean any murderous pinhead is entitled to buy a machine gun to randomly kill people because he has a shitty social life.
And when they do that, it’s YOUR militant secularist ass that is at fault. Mass shootings wouldn’t happen if you hadn’t taken all the fun out of bullying gay people with your PC ways and thinking that women should be able to get abortions. It’s not Christians’ fault for letting AK-47’s be easier to get than library cards. If we let church bells bong incessantly across the land, the crackle of gunfire in the schoolyards would cease, or at least be less audible, says Barr.
Why are more kids born out of wedlock now than in the 50’s? It’s because YOU eat too much gay wedding cake. Why is there an opioid crisis? Because you bitch when the government lets God-fearing Americans put crosses on every hillock and the Ten Commandments in every courtroom.
Speaking of the opioid crisis, which is a social problem, remember when it was the heroin epidemic and mostly confined to black people, when it was a crime problem? Good times. But probably still your fault.
Barr may have stopped by South Bend to proclaim the Word because the Justice Department has an interest in a lawsuit filed in Indiana which seeks to force the Church to hire people in same-sex unions to teach in Catholic schools. Despite the long and mutually beneficial relationship between the Church and gay people, the Church does not want to let openly gay people around little Catholics, preferring that Catholic gay sex stay between an altar boy and his priest, where it belongs. Why your tax dollars are being spent to take a side in this litigation is something your militant secularist hiney shouldn’t be questioning, unless you want more drugs, child porn, sexting and Planned Parenthood unleashed upon America.
Yeah, it’s not violent video games. It’s YOU. Look in the mirror. And the next time it’s all steamed up from the shower, draw a little pair of horns on your head while you’re shaving or fixing your hair.
Doesn’t hurt to have a little reminder.