The Almighty is not amused GOD and JESUS are sitting in Their eternal throne room, receiving prayers. The prayers stream towards HEAVEN in the form of bubbles, which the Almighty and His Son are bathed in constantly. JESUS particularly seems to enjoying the flow of the bubbles percolating around His form.
GOD: You’re liking that prayer stream today, is what I’m getting from you.
JESUS: Yes, it’s little golden bubbles full of prayers for world peace and justice, and an end to global warming and for someone to win the Super Bowl besides the fucking Patriots. The kind of prayers that soothe me.
GOD: Why don’t you move a little to your left? There’s where the bubbles praying for You to make a Second Coming are coming up. They seem quite thick today.
JESUS: Oh no you don’t. I’m not paying any attention to those prayers. Not that I’m paying any attention to these, either. (To change the subject) Oh, there’s a big one. (A giant bubble hovers in the space between Them)
GOD: Yes, a very sincere prayer indeed. Probably getting his leg munched on by a crocodile.
JESUS: Or he’s got Stage 4 something. My turn! (Reaches over, pops bubble) That was fun. Hey, look at that gray stream over there. I don’t like the look of that.
GOD: (Putting His hand in the stream, breaking many of the bubbles. A swarm of tiny, hideous creatures, half moth, half slug, fly out and start buzzing the throne room) My Me! What are they?
JESUS: (Half amused) Better listen to them.
GOD: They’re prayers for Trump! Apparently, he asked people to pray for him while he’s getting impeached!
JESUS: “Apparently?” I thought you knew everything.
GOD: Being All-Knowing is not the same as always paying attention! I’ve told you that before! I’ve never seen such ugly prayers.
JESUS: They’re from people who have already sold their souls to Satan along with Trump. It was kind of a charter deal. Satan was charmed by the originality of it. They all get to go to Hell with Trump, but they have to do anything he asks, so when he says ‘Pray for me,’ this is what happens. Look, there’s one from Devin Nunes.
GOD: HOLY FUCKING YOU! THERE’S ONE IN MY BEER!
JESUS: Better call an exterminator. Who’s the patron saint of exterminators? (A pause) Well?
GOD: All right! I had to Google it. St. Gertrude of Nivelles! Where do you think she is?
JESUS: My guess is at the bar, with all the rest of them. Those old virgins can drink, can’t they? I’ll give her a jingle.
GOD: Good. In the meantime, (He creates two Holy Fly Swatters and flips one to JESUS) Get after them!
JESUS: Naw, I think I'm going to answer them. I'll get Putin to say he's innocent.
GOD: You’re liking that prayer stream today, is what I’m getting from you.
JESUS: Yes, it’s little golden bubbles full of prayers for world peace and justice, and an end to global warming and for someone to win the Super Bowl besides the fucking Patriots. The kind of prayers that soothe me.
GOD: Why don’t you move a little to your left? There’s where the bubbles praying for You to make a Second Coming are coming up. They seem quite thick today.
JESUS: Oh no you don’t. I’m not paying any attention to those prayers. Not that I’m paying any attention to these, either. (To change the subject) Oh, there’s a big one. (A giant bubble hovers in the space between Them)
GOD: Yes, a very sincere prayer indeed. Probably getting his leg munched on by a crocodile.
JESUS: Or he’s got Stage 4 something. My turn! (Reaches over, pops bubble) That was fun. Hey, look at that gray stream over there. I don’t like the look of that.
GOD: (Putting His hand in the stream, breaking many of the bubbles. A swarm of tiny, hideous creatures, half moth, half slug, fly out and start buzzing the throne room) My Me! What are they?
JESUS: (Half amused) Better listen to them.
GOD: They’re prayers for Trump! Apparently, he asked people to pray for him while he’s getting impeached!
JESUS: “Apparently?” I thought you knew everything.
GOD: Being All-Knowing is not the same as always paying attention! I’ve told you that before! I’ve never seen such ugly prayers.
JESUS: They’re from people who have already sold their souls to Satan along with Trump. It was kind of a charter deal. Satan was charmed by the originality of it. They all get to go to Hell with Trump, but they have to do anything he asks, so when he says ‘Pray for me,’ this is what happens. Look, there’s one from Devin Nunes.
GOD: HOLY FUCKING YOU! THERE’S ONE IN MY BEER!
JESUS: Better call an exterminator. Who’s the patron saint of exterminators? (A pause) Well?
GOD: All right! I had to Google it. St. Gertrude of Nivelles! Where do you think she is?
JESUS: My guess is at the bar, with all the rest of them. Those old virgins can drink, can’t they? I’ll give her a jingle.
GOD: Good. In the meantime, (He creates two Holy Fly Swatters and flips one to JESUS) Get after them!
JESUS: Naw, I think I'm going to answer them. I'll get Putin to say he's innocent.
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