
Karen, whom you may have forgotten since she was about seven hundred Trump scandals ago, endured a relationship of some months with the Caucasian-in-Chief, after which Trump’s pals at the National Enquirer bought the rights to her story so they could bury it before the 2016 election. Unlike her fellow fattie fucker, Stormy Daniels, McDougal’s affair with Trump was neither a one-off nor a pay-off--she nurtured the mushroom more than once, and entertained thoughts of having a long-term relationship with Trump.
As nightmarish as this may sound, it’s McDougal’s story and she’s sticking to it, although it’s a story that was supposed to stay interred in the litter box of the National Enquirer.
If that doesn’t sound like extortion to you, it’s because it doesn’t sound like extortion to anybody except Tucker Carlson, who depicted our girl Karen as a cold-blooded criminal, instead of what she is—an attractive, not particularly intelligent woman who thought she’d be Barron’s step-mom someday instead of just being a girl Trump bragged about fucking to everybody he played golf with.
Now she’s in court, and she has a pretty good chance of losing, because Fox has hit upon the perfect defense for Carlson, which is that nobody should believe a word that drips out of his lying mouth. No “reasonable person,” as his lawyers put it, should think of Carlson as anything more than a bloated bag of fantastic bullshit, belching out one headline-grabbing falsehood after another. White supremacy is a hoax, women are basically stupid and need to be controlled, and Black Lives Matter is coming to take over your white neighborhood, several of the many head-scratching things our boy Tucker has said over the years, are good examples of Tucker’s complicated relationship with reality, ha, ha, ha, and Karen doesn’t deserve a dime.
But millions of people who are not reasonable, at least by Fox legal standards, are held in rapture by Tucker, Hannity and Ingraham ever night. They’re the people who put the ka in Fox’s ching. They’re the eighty-year-old couple in Liver Spot, Kentucky, keeping their guns loaded and their diabetes carts charged up so they can either fight or flee from them antifas when they come running down the holler. They’re the guy open-carrying an AR-15 while he picks out a Mother’s Day card at the Hallmark Store. They’re the people who think they’re being avatars of freedom by refusing to wear a mask during a pandemic. They’re the people who vote for politicians who are keen to take away their healthcare and food stamps, because they'd rather be sick and starve than obey Sharia Law.
They’re the ones who ought to be suing Fox.