FOX News recently suspended two commentators for two weeks for using vulgar language to denounce President Obama. The vulgar terms involved were “shit” and “pussy.” FOX hastened to explain that while it firmly believes the current occupant of the White House is full of shit and definitely a pussy, those words should not be used on FOX, lest they fall upon impressionable young ears.
“Why, that’s just FOX pretending that anybody under fifty is watching unless they are being baby-sat by their grandparents, and then they are probably playing on their cell phones,” you may demur. But you have to admire FOX’s principled stand, which may be the first one the network has ever taken. And you also have to admire the words of reactionary commentator Eric Erickson, who recently called Obama our “mom jeans wearing squat to pee President.”
Admirably well said, Mr. Erickson, and passably non-vulgar according to FOX standards. But we here worry that you may have used up all of your creative juices in coining that one memorable phrase. We want to help. Just insert the word “President” after any one of the snappy phrases below and it will impress your audience with the intellectual rigor and intense patriotism that you and your listeners possess, and keep you qualified to sit on the FOX News bench, in case they suspend anybody else.
Obama Bin Hidin’
Chicagoweinie
The Vagina of Kenya
Harvard Fried Chicken Doo
Candyass of Cook County
Makes You Wonder Who the Real Father of Malia is
White House Negro
Nappy-Headed Homo Lover*
The Only Muslim Who’s Afraid to Blow Himself Up
Socialist and Sodomist Sympathizing Scaredy-Cat
Yellow-bellied Yapper
Red-line Drawing Dope-smoker
Only Michele Keeps Him from Sexing Tons of White Chicks Thank God
Baller Without Balls
Needs Viagra to Find It
*Well, maybe you could get fired from FOX for calling him this one. It's tough to come up with fifteen of these things.
“Why, that’s just FOX pretending that anybody under fifty is watching unless they are being baby-sat by their grandparents, and then they are probably playing on their cell phones,” you may demur. But you have to admire FOX’s principled stand, which may be the first one the network has ever taken. And you also have to admire the words of reactionary commentator Eric Erickson, who recently called Obama our “mom jeans wearing squat to pee President.”
Admirably well said, Mr. Erickson, and passably non-vulgar according to FOX standards. But we here worry that you may have used up all of your creative juices in coining that one memorable phrase. We want to help. Just insert the word “President” after any one of the snappy phrases below and it will impress your audience with the intellectual rigor and intense patriotism that you and your listeners possess, and keep you qualified to sit on the FOX News bench, in case they suspend anybody else.
Obama Bin Hidin’
Chicagoweinie
The Vagina of Kenya
Harvard Fried Chicken Doo
Candyass of Cook County
Makes You Wonder Who the Real Father of Malia is
White House Negro
Nappy-Headed Homo Lover*
The Only Muslim Who’s Afraid to Blow Himself Up
Socialist and Sodomist Sympathizing Scaredy-Cat
Yellow-bellied Yapper
Red-line Drawing Dope-smoker
Only Michele Keeps Him from Sexing Tons of White Chicks Thank God
Baller Without Balls
Needs Viagra to Find It
*Well, maybe you could get fired from FOX for calling him this one. It's tough to come up with fifteen of these things.
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