Sure I know what you’re thinking, between the Attorney general, first nephew “Kush’s” bro meetings in Moscow, and ‘Holmes” Comey getting fired, combined with widespread hacking into the election process, there are so many fronts to tweet on the menace that is Russia that poor 45 can barely get a round in. NOTE TO RUSSIA–outsource your hacking to India like everyone else does. They’re simply better at it.
But in fact the most insidious incursion is here in this sleepy little beach burgh. I have been coming here for 20 plus years and over the past few there has been a disturbing change. Instead of every service employee at each restaurant, kite surfing lesson, bike rental, etc., being a local, year-round, unmistakably American redneck, they are now Russian.
That’s right, the Russians have taken over the food chain, especially at the Food Lion grocery. It is packed with tall, blond, strikingly beautiful Svetlanas (not exaggerating--read two Svetlana name tags yesterday). Since Agent Orange has a penchant for scooping up eastern European beauties, I fear this has gone unnoticed, perhaps even encouraged, by Papaya Pinochet.
The Russians seem incredibly hard working and REALLY improve beach viewing for sunburned tourists from PA, NJ, and OH (full disclosure--I used to be a PA tourist myself, but have lived in NC for a dozen years now so I can mock their mini-vanned fat selves with impunity).
I haven’t seen any propaganda as yet but you know it’s coming. By the time Putin can do 150 pushups without pause, his influence will have spider-webbed throughout the East Coast.
Saw some of Comey’s testimony and he is clearly gunning for the presidential gig next time round. Maybe he can save my vacation spot.
Just please let Svetlana and her friends stay on the beach.