I was scrolling FB the other day, which I didn’t have to be doing, because I am on vacation. I can just look at the Mexican surf and gurgle frosty cervezas, but the urge to browse came over me and I discovered that I will be dead in three to five years.
This is always a possibility, for anyone, naturally, but always more so for the venerably aged, such as myself, but I was assured it was a certainty by an ex-Facebook friend of mine who called him or herself Lomilar Bop. The meme here is from his or her Facebook page. Ironically, and I love irony nearly as much as God, if He exists, does, Lomilar doesn't appear to believe in the real Holocaust.
I don’t know how my boy (or girl) Lomilar came to be my Facebook friend. We must have had friends in common, because I don’t accept friend requests otherwise. Most of my solitary FB friend requests come from attractive women whose fake profiles all say they’ve started a WhatsApp group for sex, and do I want in on it? I think I get those because my FB profile says I’m single, even though I am not. There’s a lot of fake info on the Internet, and that is my contribution.
Lomilar let the news of my and at least 50% of all other Americans, plus a substantial portion of the remainder of the world’s, demise slip in a heated argument on a pro-vax thread on FB. Three to five years is all I have, max. That’s actually a comfort to me, because a chucklehead I know IRL assured a mutual friend that he could only expect two more years of existence because of his vaccination status. So I get a year or two longer, thanks to Lomilar.
I couldn’t help but thinking that certain death for the vaxxed within a certain time frame sounded remarkably like the claims that Trump will be reinstated as President within three to five months, and probably have the same likelihood of occurring.
Lomilar cited as his source for the doom of the vaccinated the website bitchute.com, which, among other things, claims to have a video showing that the Capitol Police conspired with antifa to attack themselves, a link which purports to show how warm and huggy Hitler was in real life, which was way too avuncular to have run his own Holocaust, and a video about something we all take for granted by now, which is that satanic pedophiles run the government.
So, impeccable sources all, which should leave us all wondering, what if Lomilar is right? In five years at the outside, everybody who got A’s in high school will be dead. The survivors, equipped only with their room temperature IQ’s, will have to run the planet. It will be the End Times of the Stupid, The Apocalypse of the Mindless, The Low Attention Span Doom of Humanity. The world will end, not with a bang, nor with a whimper, but with a particularly noisy and violent Final Fart.
At that point Trump might as well be reinstated as President. Unfortunately, the ex-Caucasian-in-Chief has been vaccinated, so he’ll be dead, too.
Always a silver lining!
This is always a possibility, for anyone, naturally, but always more so for the venerably aged, such as myself, but I was assured it was a certainty by an ex-Facebook friend of mine who called him or herself Lomilar Bop. The meme here is from his or her Facebook page. Ironically, and I love irony nearly as much as God, if He exists, does, Lomilar doesn't appear to believe in the real Holocaust.
I don’t know how my boy (or girl) Lomilar came to be my Facebook friend. We must have had friends in common, because I don’t accept friend requests otherwise. Most of my solitary FB friend requests come from attractive women whose fake profiles all say they’ve started a WhatsApp group for sex, and do I want in on it? I think I get those because my FB profile says I’m single, even though I am not. There’s a lot of fake info on the Internet, and that is my contribution.
Lomilar let the news of my and at least 50% of all other Americans, plus a substantial portion of the remainder of the world’s, demise slip in a heated argument on a pro-vax thread on FB. Three to five years is all I have, max. That’s actually a comfort to me, because a chucklehead I know IRL assured a mutual friend that he could only expect two more years of existence because of his vaccination status. So I get a year or two longer, thanks to Lomilar.
I couldn’t help but thinking that certain death for the vaxxed within a certain time frame sounded remarkably like the claims that Trump will be reinstated as President within three to five months, and probably have the same likelihood of occurring.
Lomilar cited as his source for the doom of the vaccinated the website bitchute.com, which, among other things, claims to have a video showing that the Capitol Police conspired with antifa to attack themselves, a link which purports to show how warm and huggy Hitler was in real life, which was way too avuncular to have run his own Holocaust, and a video about something we all take for granted by now, which is that satanic pedophiles run the government.
So, impeccable sources all, which should leave us all wondering, what if Lomilar is right? In five years at the outside, everybody who got A’s in high school will be dead. The survivors, equipped only with their room temperature IQ’s, will have to run the planet. It will be the End Times of the Stupid, The Apocalypse of the Mindless, The Low Attention Span Doom of Humanity. The world will end, not with a bang, nor with a whimper, but with a particularly noisy and violent Final Fart.
At that point Trump might as well be reinstated as President. Unfortunately, the ex-Caucasian-in-Chief has been vaccinated, so he’ll be dead, too.
Always a silver lining!
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