Dark Garland, though, is making some noise. It’s only been about 18 hours since the Justice Department let it slip that the Former Caucasian-in-Chief was keeping nuclear secrets in a spare room with his pool noodles. It’s been several days though, since word broke, from the lips of America’s Ex himself, that a search warrant was served on the overpriced Shithole-by-the-Sea, Mar a Lago, by the FBI.
When that was sprung on the unsuspecting public last Tuesday, Republicans and Trumpeteers were all over it, from the highest ranking to the lowest liars on that side. Wannabee Speaker of the House, Kevin McCarthy, advised The Attorney General to “clear his calendar and preserve all his documents,” indicating that the House would fricassee him down to his gray-haired testicles once the Republicans took charge of it. “Don’t be flushing nothin’ down them Main Justice toilets,” he might as well have added.
Since the scandal went nuclear, Kevin’s been notably quiet.
Some Republicans argued that Trump wasn’t guilty because he can “declassify things with his mind,” ignoring the fact that the Mango Man can’t even spell things with his mind. Also, the fact that Biden, by this argument, can reclassify things with his mind, and probably did so while playing Frisbee with his dog on the beach in Rehoboth.
Since it came out that one of the things Trump might have had boxed next to his pool skimmer was the location of all of China’s hypersonic cruise missiles, we haven’t heard much from the mind declassifers.
Many people, and I mean people ranging from Fox frothers like Jesse Waters to Senator Rand “Won’t You be My Neighbor?” Paul, are questioning whether the FBI “planted” evidence underneath Trump’s badminton net.
Since it came out that the evidence is so classified it probably won’t ever be read in court, those pieholes have been clamped shut.
Trump himself has implied all of the above, which is that the evidence he already declassified with his mind was accidentally shipped there by the White House movers, and also planted by the FBI in a raid which was illegal because he’s an Ex, which makes him entitled to keep a list of all the Russian bunkers we plan to nuke out first when WW III starts next to his cabana boy's cabana. He’s also accused Obama of taking thirty million pages (or pounds, I forget which) of classified documents out of the White House when he left it, and HER EMAILS!
But, so far, he’s the only one defending himself. But have faith. Somebody will jump in on his side soon, with something other than a whiny couldn’t they have just asked him nicely, maybe during a friendly game of Marco Polo, for America’s Top Secrets back?
My money is on Marjorie Taylor Green, mostly recently spotted selling DEFUND THE FBI baseball caps on Facebook. She’s the one who will say that Trump was masterminding a plan to expose international child molesters by tempting them to his golf course with a promise of classified info, because the only thing that child molesters want more than molesting children is to possess, and possibly sexually abuse, incredibly hush-hush intelligence reports. George Soros, Jews and Democrats were all going to fall into Trump’s cunning trap.
Just give her and her kind the rest of the weekend to figure it out. As far as Trump starting to act cunning, though, my guess is it’s going to take longer than that.
When that was sprung on the unsuspecting public last Tuesday, Republicans and Trumpeteers were all over it, from the highest ranking to the lowest liars on that side. Wannabee Speaker of the House, Kevin McCarthy, advised The Attorney General to “clear his calendar and preserve all his documents,” indicating that the House would fricassee him down to his gray-haired testicles once the Republicans took charge of it. “Don’t be flushing nothin’ down them Main Justice toilets,” he might as well have added.
Since the scandal went nuclear, Kevin’s been notably quiet.
Some Republicans argued that Trump wasn’t guilty because he can “declassify things with his mind,” ignoring the fact that the Mango Man can’t even spell things with his mind. Also, the fact that Biden, by this argument, can reclassify things with his mind, and probably did so while playing Frisbee with his dog on the beach in Rehoboth.
Since it came out that one of the things Trump might have had boxed next to his pool skimmer was the location of all of China’s hypersonic cruise missiles, we haven’t heard much from the mind declassifers.
Many people, and I mean people ranging from Fox frothers like Jesse Waters to Senator Rand “Won’t You be My Neighbor?” Paul, are questioning whether the FBI “planted” evidence underneath Trump’s badminton net.
Since it came out that the evidence is so classified it probably won’t ever be read in court, those pieholes have been clamped shut.
Trump himself has implied all of the above, which is that the evidence he already declassified with his mind was accidentally shipped there by the White House movers, and also planted by the FBI in a raid which was illegal because he’s an Ex, which makes him entitled to keep a list of all the Russian bunkers we plan to nuke out first when WW III starts next to his cabana boy's cabana. He’s also accused Obama of taking thirty million pages (or pounds, I forget which) of classified documents out of the White House when he left it, and HER EMAILS!
But, so far, he’s the only one defending himself. But have faith. Somebody will jump in on his side soon, with something other than a whiny couldn’t they have just asked him nicely, maybe during a friendly game of Marco Polo, for America’s Top Secrets back?
My money is on Marjorie Taylor Green, mostly recently spotted selling DEFUND THE FBI baseball caps on Facebook. She’s the one who will say that Trump was masterminding a plan to expose international child molesters by tempting them to his golf course with a promise of classified info, because the only thing that child molesters want more than molesting children is to possess, and possibly sexually abuse, incredibly hush-hush intelligence reports. George Soros, Jews and Democrats were all going to fall into Trump’s cunning trap.
Just give her and her kind the rest of the weekend to figure it out. As far as Trump starting to act cunning, though, my guess is it’s going to take longer than that.
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