Anybody have a bandwagon going her way?
Joe Redstate called me again. I was surprised to hear from him so soon, but Sarah Palin’s endorsement of The Donald for President had him bursting with excitement.
“Icing on the cake. Icing on the icing. Sarah’s support is going to put Trump in the White House for sure,” he crowed.
I don’t know about that, Joe. If you listen to Palin, she often sounds like someone put LSD in her morning cup of Swiss Miss. She invented the word“squirmished” when she endorsed Trump, which had milk squirting out of the national nose, so to speak."
“And that’s what we want in our candidate, and anybody who endorses him. Republicans have had it up to here with coherency. The last time a Republican President said anything coherent, it didn’t turn out so well.”
Are you talking about Dubya, Joe? The President who once said "We ought to make the pie higher,” when asked a question about his plans for the economy? Who also said "We'll let our friends be the peacekeepers and the great country called America will be the pacemakers." Some of us are still wondering what he was talking about for the whole eight years of his Presidency.
“Sure, Bush showed a lot of promise when he talked like that. But he also stood under that sign that said “Mission Accomplished.” I know he didn’t actually say “Mission Accomplished,” because he probably would have goofed it up, said “Division Accomplished," or something like that. But he stood under that sign, and that fatal burst of comprehensibility haunted his Presidency. We ran the Mittster last time, and he was doing great until he choked on that “47%” remark. That was being alarmingly specific. In Trump, we have a guy who says he’s going to make things great, because he’s a winner. He's going to beat ISIS like nobody else can and he's going to whip Chinese ass in the trade game."
Without ever saying how he's going to do it.
"He's really rich, so he doesn't have to. When he gets down to wrestling with an issue, like gay marriage, he says stuff like "It's like in golf. A lot of people — I don't want this to sound trivial — but a lot of people are switching to these really long putters, very unattractive. It’s weird. You see these great players with these really long putters, because they can't sink three-footers anymore. And, I hate it. I am a traditionalist. I have so many fabulous friends who happen to be gay, but I am a traditionalist."
That doesn’t make any sense at all, Joe.
“I know. Isn’t it beautiful?"
But Trump has said specific things, Joe. What about the wall he’s going to build on the border and get Mexico to pay for?
“I’m sure when Mexico puts down a deposit for the materials he’ll get right on it. You don’t expect a builder to start working until he’s got the start-up cash in his pocket. But don’t be a buzzkiller on this great day. Sarah’s back to stay.”
And her kid celebrated by punching out his girlfriend and getting himself arrested for it, which she blamed on Obama.
“Perfectly logical. Track was just thinking about our weak President and it made him so mad he wanted to punch a hole in the wall. Unfortunately, his girl was standing next to that wall.”
Actually, she blamed Obama for not caring enough about American veterans with PTSD, but a lot of people have noticed that many near frozen Alaskan trailer trash guys beat up their wives and girlfriends without the benefit of any military background at all.
“You’re making a point there. Go ahead. Make all the points you want. I guarantee it won’t do you any good with the Republican base.”
“Icing on the cake. Icing on the icing. Sarah’s support is going to put Trump in the White House for sure,” he crowed.
I don’t know about that, Joe. If you listen to Palin, she often sounds like someone put LSD in her morning cup of Swiss Miss. She invented the word“squirmished” when she endorsed Trump, which had milk squirting out of the national nose, so to speak."
“And that’s what we want in our candidate, and anybody who endorses him. Republicans have had it up to here with coherency. The last time a Republican President said anything coherent, it didn’t turn out so well.”
Are you talking about Dubya, Joe? The President who once said "We ought to make the pie higher,” when asked a question about his plans for the economy? Who also said "We'll let our friends be the peacekeepers and the great country called America will be the pacemakers." Some of us are still wondering what he was talking about for the whole eight years of his Presidency.
“Sure, Bush showed a lot of promise when he talked like that. But he also stood under that sign that said “Mission Accomplished.” I know he didn’t actually say “Mission Accomplished,” because he probably would have goofed it up, said “Division Accomplished," or something like that. But he stood under that sign, and that fatal burst of comprehensibility haunted his Presidency. We ran the Mittster last time, and he was doing great until he choked on that “47%” remark. That was being alarmingly specific. In Trump, we have a guy who says he’s going to make things great, because he’s a winner. He's going to beat ISIS like nobody else can and he's going to whip Chinese ass in the trade game."
Without ever saying how he's going to do it.
"He's really rich, so he doesn't have to. When he gets down to wrestling with an issue, like gay marriage, he says stuff like "It's like in golf. A lot of people — I don't want this to sound trivial — but a lot of people are switching to these really long putters, very unattractive. It’s weird. You see these great players with these really long putters, because they can't sink three-footers anymore. And, I hate it. I am a traditionalist. I have so many fabulous friends who happen to be gay, but I am a traditionalist."
That doesn’t make any sense at all, Joe.
“I know. Isn’t it beautiful?"
But Trump has said specific things, Joe. What about the wall he’s going to build on the border and get Mexico to pay for?
“I’m sure when Mexico puts down a deposit for the materials he’ll get right on it. You don’t expect a builder to start working until he’s got the start-up cash in his pocket. But don’t be a buzzkiller on this great day. Sarah’s back to stay.”
And her kid celebrated by punching out his girlfriend and getting himself arrested for it, which she blamed on Obama.
“Perfectly logical. Track was just thinking about our weak President and it made him so mad he wanted to punch a hole in the wall. Unfortunately, his girl was standing next to that wall.”
Actually, she blamed Obama for not caring enough about American veterans with PTSD, but a lot of people have noticed that many near frozen Alaskan trailer trash guys beat up their wives and girlfriends without the benefit of any military background at all.
“You’re making a point there. Go ahead. Make all the points you want. I guarantee it won’t do you any good with the Republican base.”
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