Reality TV midget vixen Snooki has now equaled my total literary output by publishing her first novel. I refuse to believe it was ghostwritten. It reads as though it were composed by the author in her favorite habitat, a hot tub, in the glow of a Jacuzzi's underwater lights, i.e., damp, steamy and drunken. I read a few pages of it at my local Walmart. (For those of you who can't make it to the Mart, a link to one of my favorite sites people of walmart.com) Snooki's protagonist, a short, oversexed foul-mouthed young woman of Italian descent (not to be confused with Snooki herself, a horny Italian-American girl in her twenties with a big mouth who is vertically challenged) is primarily concerned with choosing the correct boyfriend. She is torn between a young man who is talented at punching out other young men at her whim, and one who is capable of doing her laundry in a laundromat. Also gives great details on poufing one's hair, the reading of actually made me more bitter than the fact of Snooki's authorship.
For those of you wondering why Snooki's turgid tales have publishing houses pushing wheelbarrows full of money to her door at the moment she uncaps her pen, while people with actual writing talent have to wait years for recognition, it is because celebrities can get anything they like published. We love them. We love the ones that are better than us (Barack Obama, Ellen DeGeneres) but we especially love the ones that are obviously worse than us...Snooki, known principally for being filmed having sex in a Jacuzzi, Britney, the poster-mom for child neglect and the king of them all, Charlie Sheen, notorious for vomiting on hookers. Listing all the bad-girl bad boy celebrities here would require more days than Lindsey Lohan's spent in rehab, but they all serve us by reminding us that people with far better chances in life than most of us have had are busy acting like idiots in the public eye. Just as we would do if we could only catch a break.
For those of you wondering why Snooki's turgid tales have publishing houses pushing wheelbarrows full of money to her door at the moment she uncaps her pen, while people with actual writing talent have to wait years for recognition, it is because celebrities can get anything they like published. We love them. We love the ones that are better than us (Barack Obama, Ellen DeGeneres) but we especially love the ones that are obviously worse than us...Snooki, known principally for being filmed having sex in a Jacuzzi, Britney, the poster-mom for child neglect and the king of them all, Charlie Sheen, notorious for vomiting on hookers. Listing all the bad-girl bad boy celebrities here would require more days than Lindsey Lohan's spent in rehab, but they all serve us by reminding us that people with far better chances in life than most of us have had are busy acting like idiots in the public eye. Just as we would do if we could only catch a break.
The author at rest after her literary labors.
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