First, there is the Facebook birthday issue. You know what I mean. A person you've known for twenty years and have never acknowledged his or her birthday before friends you on Facebook Now that this person is your FB friend, Facebook lets you know it is coming up in three days What do you do? You can say Happy Birthday in a Facebook message. It costs nothing, which is appropriate because that's what this person's birthday has always meant to you. You can go to the other extreme. Buy a birthday card and mail it quickly. Also buy 19 belated birthday cards. Mail them whenever.
Or you can ignore the occasion like you always do. My choice. The message I am sending here is "Even though you have friended me, I am still the strong, forgetful person I have always been. There are only three birthdays I need to remember. My kid's, my mother's and my girlfriend's. If you expect me to remember your birthday, throw a party and invite me. Seriously."
Other things you can not post on Facebook and not be missed by me are pictures of clouds or rainbows urging me to click on them if I love God. This is right up there with prayer wheels and holy water as an efficacious way of influencing the Deity in my opinion. Coming from the Catholic tradition as I do, with its emphasis on medieval torments for the body and soul, it is ingrained in me that God would not be impressed by my jabbing at my iPad as a form of sacrifice as opposed to me donning sackcloth and ashes, engaging in self-flagellation, or even something as simple and effortless as becoming a leper. And I'm not doing any of that. Hey...here's an idea—Go Catholic and give up Facebook for Lent! That would give me something to look forward to in that season, which otherwise goes unobserved by me.
I don't want to see any more pictures of your cats asleep. I know your cats sleep. Documentation is unnecessary.
Likewise, no more images of "Hot Jesus." These pictures depict an actor portraying the Son of God who also happens to be a hunky, Northern European man with a well trimmed beard. The Bible is notably silent on the hunkaliciousness of Christ, and also does not mention Him sitting still every day while Judas sculpted his facial hair, so it was possible that He was a major babe with an adorable scruffy beard but it is hardly a given.
How do you pray to a hot Redeemer, when you long for both salvation and penetration? Just clicking the "like" button seems dangerous enough to me, from the standpoint of orthodox theology regarding sin, but if thinking about sex constantly gets you into Heaven they better start thinking about building an extra wing or three there, because we're all going.
Finally, when you post something followed by "I dare you to share this. 99% of you won't!" I've got one response.
I'm with the majority.
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