The former senator from Pennsylvania, now running for President, says Senator McCain "doesn't know how effective" enhanced interrogation techniques can be, even though McCain was a prisoner of war for five years and tortured on many occasions by his North Vietnamese captors.
An insider for the Santorum campaign brushed off criticism of Santorum's comments. "People question Rick Santorum's experience and political acumen. Remember, we're talking about a guy who served one full term in the Senate before booted out into the street by Pennsylvania voters. In the intervening six years, Rick has boosted his personal qualifications for higher office in a Herculean fashion."
Asked for an example, the Santorum spokesman replied. "As you know, Rick has always been pro-life, so he knows more about unwanted pregnancies than the women who don't want them. He's always been anti-evolution, so he knows more about science than scientists. He's always been anti-gay, so he knows more about the repulsive nature of homosexual acts than the homosexuals who perform them. It shouldn't surprise anyone that he knows more about torture than someone who's been tortured.
"Now that he's thinking about running for President, he's expanded the range of his knowledge even further. I can tell you confidentially that Donald Trump dropped out of the race because Rick showed him he knew more about being an orange-faced blowhard than Trump did."
When skepticism was expressed by this reporter his objections were brushed aside. "Frankly, the rest of the Republican field had better watch out for Santorum. He knows more about being an eerie loony from Texas than Ron Paul. He knows more about being a semi-literate housewife who's never read or written anything longer than a Twitter post in her entire life than Sarah Palin. He's an even bigger has-been than Newt Gingrich."
Asked if the American people didn't deserve a President with a more significant grasp of reality, the spokesman replied indignantly, 'I have no idea what you are talking about. When the sexual abuse scandal broke out in the Catholic Church, of which Rick is a proud member, Rick was the first one to point out that it was probably caused by increasing public toleration of homosexuality."
In other words, according to Santorum, if they hadn't watched Queer Eye, the offending priests would have kept their hands off the altar boys?
"Without a doubt."
A final question. Isn't it true that Santorum has no real hope of being nominated for President, and is hoping for the Vice-Presidency instead?
"The campaign steadfastly denies any interest in the Vice Presidency. However, Rick Santorum definitely knows more about being Vice President than Joe Biden."
An insider for the Santorum campaign brushed off criticism of Santorum's comments. "People question Rick Santorum's experience and political acumen. Remember, we're talking about a guy who served one full term in the Senate before booted out into the street by Pennsylvania voters. In the intervening six years, Rick has boosted his personal qualifications for higher office in a Herculean fashion."
Asked for an example, the Santorum spokesman replied. "As you know, Rick has always been pro-life, so he knows more about unwanted pregnancies than the women who don't want them. He's always been anti-evolution, so he knows more about science than scientists. He's always been anti-gay, so he knows more about the repulsive nature of homosexual acts than the homosexuals who perform them. It shouldn't surprise anyone that he knows more about torture than someone who's been tortured.
"Now that he's thinking about running for President, he's expanded the range of his knowledge even further. I can tell you confidentially that Donald Trump dropped out of the race because Rick showed him he knew more about being an orange-faced blowhard than Trump did."
When skepticism was expressed by this reporter his objections were brushed aside. "Frankly, the rest of the Republican field had better watch out for Santorum. He knows more about being an eerie loony from Texas than Ron Paul. He knows more about being a semi-literate housewife who's never read or written anything longer than a Twitter post in her entire life than Sarah Palin. He's an even bigger has-been than Newt Gingrich."
Asked if the American people didn't deserve a President with a more significant grasp of reality, the spokesman replied indignantly, 'I have no idea what you are talking about. When the sexual abuse scandal broke out in the Catholic Church, of which Rick is a proud member, Rick was the first one to point out that it was probably caused by increasing public toleration of homosexuality."
In other words, according to Santorum, if they hadn't watched Queer Eye, the offending priests would have kept their hands off the altar boys?
"Without a doubt."
A final question. Isn't it true that Santorum has no real hope of being nominated for President, and is hoping for the Vice-Presidency instead?
"The campaign steadfastly denies any interest in the Vice Presidency. However, Rick Santorum definitely knows more about being Vice President than Joe Biden."
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