One cool Quran-burning cat Serial scripture arsonist Terry Jones is back in the news after having been arrested for towing a barbecue grill filled with gasoline-soaked Qurans in back of his pickup truck. The Reverend was planning to immolate them on 9-11. No one outside of the Rev's immediate fellowship thinks torching a bunch of Qurans is a good way to memorialize the victims of those attacks. The police thwarting the Reverend's plans means that Muslim loonies (motto--"We Live to Rage") won't have an excuse to attack and possibly burn real live Americans, like they did last time, but it achieves the Rev's aim of keeping him in the public eye as the main Quran-burning Man o' God. And it also enables me to post this blog, which I never put up the last time Reverend Jones decided to save the world from terror, one crispy Quran at a time:
The Reverend Terry Jones has finally made good on his threat to burn a Quran, in spite of pleas from such eminences as Barack Obama and General David Petraus, who correctly predicted it would make their jobs tougher.
The Reverend should not be confused with the other Terry Jones, the naked organist of Monty Python. If that Terry Jones wanted to burn a Quran, he would have dressed up in drag first and written a cheery song to be sung by a quartet of other dancing transvestites while the burning went on.
The Rev just "put the Quran on trial," (For what? Shoplifting?) found it guilty, and burned it.
Immediately riots exploded in Afghanistan. The Taliban, who prefer to destroy ancient Buddhas with artillery shells when the desecrating mood falls upon them, blamed the US government for permitting Jones to incinerate the word of Allah, and burned an effigy of Obama.
The question is here, why didn't they just burn a Bible and call it even? If the Taliban had been diplomatic enough to set the Christian scriptures ablaze, would Reverend Jones have felt it incumbent upon himself to start his own riot? And with whom?
It is obvious that anybody can burn a Quran a day, if they feel like it. This writer does it quite frequently. Nothing brightens a hearth more quickly than someone else's cherished, sacred beliefs being lapped up by flames. The trick is not to make a big deal out of it. And you certainly don't have to limit yourself to Muslim combustibles. There's a Bible, Old Testament and New, kindling some driftwood under the chimney now. Sometimes just a few chapters of the Good Book are enough to set even the sturdiest log ablaze.
There is nothing sweeter than the smoke that drifts upwards from a Book of Mormon aflame, unless it be the scent of a smoldering copy of Dianetics. A copy of the Christian Science Monitor will serve as kindle for all but the densest scriptures.
In this world where both the Reverend Jones and the Taliban both claim to only follow His will and the Almighty himself apparently chooses only to speak to schizophrenics and professional athletes, it says here that the best bet is not to quibble about what no one knows for certain.
Pass the marshmallows.
The Reverend Terry Jones has finally made good on his threat to burn a Quran, in spite of pleas from such eminences as Barack Obama and General David Petraus, who correctly predicted it would make their jobs tougher.
The Reverend should not be confused with the other Terry Jones, the naked organist of Monty Python. If that Terry Jones wanted to burn a Quran, he would have dressed up in drag first and written a cheery song to be sung by a quartet of other dancing transvestites while the burning went on.
The Rev just "put the Quran on trial," (For what? Shoplifting?) found it guilty, and burned it.
Immediately riots exploded in Afghanistan. The Taliban, who prefer to destroy ancient Buddhas with artillery shells when the desecrating mood falls upon them, blamed the US government for permitting Jones to incinerate the word of Allah, and burned an effigy of Obama.
The question is here, why didn't they just burn a Bible and call it even? If the Taliban had been diplomatic enough to set the Christian scriptures ablaze, would Reverend Jones have felt it incumbent upon himself to start his own riot? And with whom?
It is obvious that anybody can burn a Quran a day, if they feel like it. This writer does it quite frequently. Nothing brightens a hearth more quickly than someone else's cherished, sacred beliefs being lapped up by flames. The trick is not to make a big deal out of it. And you certainly don't have to limit yourself to Muslim combustibles. There's a Bible, Old Testament and New, kindling some driftwood under the chimney now. Sometimes just a few chapters of the Good Book are enough to set even the sturdiest log ablaze.
There is nothing sweeter than the smoke that drifts upwards from a Book of Mormon aflame, unless it be the scent of a smoldering copy of Dianetics. A copy of the Christian Science Monitor will serve as kindle for all but the densest scriptures.
In this world where both the Reverend Jones and the Taliban both claim to only follow His will and the Almighty himself apparently chooses only to speak to schizophrenics and professional athletes, it says here that the best bet is not to quibble about what no one knows for certain.
Pass the marshmallows.
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