Uncle Joe is mired in the depths of unpopularity nowadays, which puzzles people with long memories and Democrats, because he seems to behave like a regular President. When there is a problem, he attempts to fix it, like opening up the Strategic Oil Reserve when there is raging inflation, and arming Ukraine when Russia invades it.
Here’s a link to a thoughtful article about why Presidents are doomed to be unpopular in this century, but if you don’t feel like thinking, here’s what I think:
Presidents are naturally unpopular nowadays, because Fox viewers are indoctrinated to hate all Democratic Presidents and everybody else hates all Republican ones.
With that in mind, what can Biden do to break his losing streak in the polls? Not by working hard behind the scenes, dealing with fiendishly difficult problems and not complaining about it. He should follow the example of the Former Guy. Not in the matter of solving problems, because it’s okay to have a President who tries to solve problems instead of pretending they don’t exist, but reminding people they have a President by Tweeting insults a couple times a day, like Trump did.
People actually miss that about Trump, even people that hate him more than they hate paying six bucks a gallon for gas. You knew you had a President with Trump, even though you had one that was self-absorbed as a sponge in a bucket of barn slop and couldn’t spell anything over five letters long. But you knew he was there.
For example, when Madison Cawthorn starts chirping about impeaching him, Biden should call him a @FascistCross-DressingCripple. When Republican Senators tramp down to the border to whine about perfectly legal asylum seekers, he can refer to them as “Showboating Scumbags Courting the Votes of Revolting Racists.” Trump has no talent for alliteration. Show him up.
When Kevin McCarthy, as everyone assures us is inevitable, weasels his way into the Speakership of the House next year, @shitshowsupervisor makes a nice hashtag for him.
@jewishspacelasersandcatholicsatanists is Miss Marshall Law herself. Along with her suspicion of Muslims, her latest attack on Catholics means the notorious Congressperson has poked all of the Abrahamic religions in the eye. Who is left among the faithful for her to target? Mormons? Hindus? Scientologists? Whatever, Biden needs to smear her with a few Tweets.
It doesn’t matter that Twitter is being taken over by a fat-faced billionaire egomaniac who only thinks he’s funny. The Prez doesn’t have to worry about getting shut down. So, when Joe starts tweeting “Half the raisins in a box of Sun Maid are bigger than Tucker Carlson’s testicles, although maybe not as tanned,” or “Disneyland’s got Florida’s dick in a drainpipe,” Musk will be powerless to kick him off the platform.
Joe will get more popular. People will start thinking that we’ve got a real President again, when he starts Twitter-shitting on anybody he feels like. “That’s the White House I remember,” they’ll say proudly.
These are people that pay no attention to policy, principles, history or really, anything that happens past the end of their driveways. You’ve got to make noise to get them to turn their eyes away from Wheel of Fortune. But when they start saying things like “Didja hear where Biden called our congressman ‘Gaetz the Galloping Groomer?’ That was good. Ima voting for him. Ima voting for both of ‘em.”
This is the swing vote, Mr. President. You have to go after it.
Here’s a link to a thoughtful article about why Presidents are doomed to be unpopular in this century, but if you don’t feel like thinking, here’s what I think:
Presidents are naturally unpopular nowadays, because Fox viewers are indoctrinated to hate all Democratic Presidents and everybody else hates all Republican ones.
With that in mind, what can Biden do to break his losing streak in the polls? Not by working hard behind the scenes, dealing with fiendishly difficult problems and not complaining about it. He should follow the example of the Former Guy. Not in the matter of solving problems, because it’s okay to have a President who tries to solve problems instead of pretending they don’t exist, but reminding people they have a President by Tweeting insults a couple times a day, like Trump did.
People actually miss that about Trump, even people that hate him more than they hate paying six bucks a gallon for gas. You knew you had a President with Trump, even though you had one that was self-absorbed as a sponge in a bucket of barn slop and couldn’t spell anything over five letters long. But you knew he was there.
For example, when Madison Cawthorn starts chirping about impeaching him, Biden should call him a @FascistCross-DressingCripple. When Republican Senators tramp down to the border to whine about perfectly legal asylum seekers, he can refer to them as “Showboating Scumbags Courting the Votes of Revolting Racists.” Trump has no talent for alliteration. Show him up.
When Kevin McCarthy, as everyone assures us is inevitable, weasels his way into the Speakership of the House next year, @shitshowsupervisor makes a nice hashtag for him.
@jewishspacelasersandcatholicsatanists is Miss Marshall Law herself. Along with her suspicion of Muslims, her latest attack on Catholics means the notorious Congressperson has poked all of the Abrahamic religions in the eye. Who is left among the faithful for her to target? Mormons? Hindus? Scientologists? Whatever, Biden needs to smear her with a few Tweets.
It doesn’t matter that Twitter is being taken over by a fat-faced billionaire egomaniac who only thinks he’s funny. The Prez doesn’t have to worry about getting shut down. So, when Joe starts tweeting “Half the raisins in a box of Sun Maid are bigger than Tucker Carlson’s testicles, although maybe not as tanned,” or “Disneyland’s got Florida’s dick in a drainpipe,” Musk will be powerless to kick him off the platform.
Joe will get more popular. People will start thinking that we’ve got a real President again, when he starts Twitter-shitting on anybody he feels like. “That’s the White House I remember,” they’ll say proudly.
These are people that pay no attention to policy, principles, history or really, anything that happens past the end of their driveways. You’ve got to make noise to get them to turn their eyes away from Wheel of Fortune. But when they start saying things like “Didja hear where Biden called our congressman ‘Gaetz the Galloping Groomer?’ That was good. Ima voting for him. Ima voting for both of ‘em.”
This is the swing vote, Mr. President. You have to go after it.
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