A lot has been made of the Trumpification of the GOP lately, with many pundits (including conservative ones) bemoaning that the party has abandoned its time-honored principles of law and order, fiscal responsibility and keeping the racism to a dog-whistle to beating up at least some cops, running deficits the size of Chris Christie’s boxers and openly welcoming the Proud Boys to their conventions.
All this is true, but it misses the simplest point about today’s Republican Party, which is that the attention whores are leading it. The biggest one of all is still the ex-Caucasian-in-Chief, who holds vast sway over the armed diabetics that constitute its core, but whose grip may be loosened soon by a lack of Twitter and a couple of grisly indictments.
Regular Republican politicians may think they are going to take his place in the 2024 arena, but the feeling here is that they are mistaken. Mitch McConnell, the ultimate pay-no-attention-to-that-man-behind-the-curtain type of political manipulator, may fantasize that he’ll wind up with some kind of docile Republican hack taking back the White House in 2025, if he doesn’t get Trump again, but he’s liable to be proved bitterly wrong.
Mike Pompeo? When was the last time we had a fat President? Even if you count Lyndon Johnson as a tub, that was a while back. Have another slice of pie, Mike, and sit this one out. Mike Pence? You’d think that upholding the Constitution wouldn’t be a fatal political blunder, but here we are. Ted Cruz? Once you’ve acquired the nickname “Cancun,” your chances of setting up in the Oval Office are gone.
Tom Cotton and Josh Hawley have as nearly much personal appeal between them as Jared Fogel, the former sandwich pedophile.
No, the future of the GOP is on tour right now. Who better to lead the party than Matt Gaetz and Marjorie Taylor-Greene? That combination of I-snort-all-my-coke-off-hooker’s-asses party boy with someone who keeps a steely eye out for kosher death rays from space is about the only thing that will motivate the Trumpezoids to get out and vote. Their accomplishments during the recent pandemic shone with personal magnetism, with Gaetz ushering in the year of covid by wearing a gas mask on the House floor to mock the future deaths of 600,000 Americans, to MTG comparing being asked to get vaccinated to being hauled off to Buchenwald at the end.
And speaking of rising Republican stars, don’t forget the lady in Nashville who was selling “I’m Not Vaccinated” Stars of David. Sure, her headwear biz is in the toilet right now, but it’s only a Go Fund Me campaign from being rescued, and then, can a run for Congress be far behind?
A Gaetz-Greene ticket wouldn’t have to promise much more than to hang Democrats, particularly Pelosi and Ocasio-Cortez, if elected, to attract votes. Not that they would get a majority of them, or even win the Electoral College, but during the ritual riot at the Capitol after they lost, possibly they would be successful at it then.
After all, they’ve had the practice.
All this is true, but it misses the simplest point about today’s Republican Party, which is that the attention whores are leading it. The biggest one of all is still the ex-Caucasian-in-Chief, who holds vast sway over the armed diabetics that constitute its core, but whose grip may be loosened soon by a lack of Twitter and a couple of grisly indictments.
Regular Republican politicians may think they are going to take his place in the 2024 arena, but the feeling here is that they are mistaken. Mitch McConnell, the ultimate pay-no-attention-to-that-man-behind-the-curtain type of political manipulator, may fantasize that he’ll wind up with some kind of docile Republican hack taking back the White House in 2025, if he doesn’t get Trump again, but he’s liable to be proved bitterly wrong.
Mike Pompeo? When was the last time we had a fat President? Even if you count Lyndon Johnson as a tub, that was a while back. Have another slice of pie, Mike, and sit this one out. Mike Pence? You’d think that upholding the Constitution wouldn’t be a fatal political blunder, but here we are. Ted Cruz? Once you’ve acquired the nickname “Cancun,” your chances of setting up in the Oval Office are gone.
Tom Cotton and Josh Hawley have as nearly much personal appeal between them as Jared Fogel, the former sandwich pedophile.
No, the future of the GOP is on tour right now. Who better to lead the party than Matt Gaetz and Marjorie Taylor-Greene? That combination of I-snort-all-my-coke-off-hooker’s-asses party boy with someone who keeps a steely eye out for kosher death rays from space is about the only thing that will motivate the Trumpezoids to get out and vote. Their accomplishments during the recent pandemic shone with personal magnetism, with Gaetz ushering in the year of covid by wearing a gas mask on the House floor to mock the future deaths of 600,000 Americans, to MTG comparing being asked to get vaccinated to being hauled off to Buchenwald at the end.
And speaking of rising Republican stars, don’t forget the lady in Nashville who was selling “I’m Not Vaccinated” Stars of David. Sure, her headwear biz is in the toilet right now, but it’s only a Go Fund Me campaign from being rescued, and then, can a run for Congress be far behind?
A Gaetz-Greene ticket wouldn’t have to promise much more than to hang Democrats, particularly Pelosi and Ocasio-Cortez, if elected, to attract votes. Not that they would get a majority of them, or even win the Electoral College, but during the ritual riot at the Capitol after they lost, possibly they would be successful at it then.
After all, they’ve had the practice.
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