Don't hate her for being beautiful-- hate her for calling you a lardass
The horse-faced harridan of the hard right has to move over this week to make room for a new Most Hated Woman on the Planet, and she might not be getting her title back anytime soon.
Samantha Brick, prior to this week hardly a household name, at least here in San Diego County, made international waves when she appeared on British TV and said, among other things, that "fat women are failures," "woman hate me for being pretty," and 'my husband would leave me if I got fat."
The clatter of pork chop bones being thrown angrily at television screens echoed throughout the UK as all the women in Britain more zaftig than Samantha expressed their opinions of her.
Keep in mind this is Britain; here in America no man in his right mind would threaten to leave his wife if her clothes started to get tight. This is not because we American men are less shallow or body-conscious than our British cousins. It is because here in the USA we have vicious lawyers who would treat us to a divorce proceeding that would make being torn apart by ravenous piranhas seem as soothing as a bubble bath if we were to mention any figure flaws belonging to our wives out loud. To them or anybody else.
As for Samantha's claim that fat women are failures, she should be reminded that Oprah made the equivalent of the Thin One's entire annual income this morning in the five minutes it took Samantha to eat her bowl of flower stems for breakfast. As far as other women hating her for being pretty, the easy answer is Not until now! Probably no one even noticed she was pretty before she put the claim in last week. I mean, she's a nice-looking middle-aged lady, but she's not going to make your eyes bug out. Sure, some of her immediate circle probably rolled their eyes whenever she touched up her makeup at the conference table, or sniffed when she consumed her lunch of a single slice of cucumber and a glass of tepid water in the company cafeteria and exclaimed "I'm so full!" afterwards, but she hadn't yet earned the scowling hatred of every woman in the English-speaking world who's ever considered buying control-top panty hose instead of vomiting before squeezing into a dress.
And now she has. Likely the thing that other women hate about her most is that fat guys get a pass from her. They're not failures, apparently, even if they order their pizzas so big they have to delivered on flatbed trucks or they fatally overdose on Quadruple Bypass burgers. We males can mac out all we want, and Samantha will still dine on half of a pack of airline crackers tonight, just to please us.
Love that girl.
Samantha Brick, prior to this week hardly a household name, at least here in San Diego County, made international waves when she appeared on British TV and said, among other things, that "fat women are failures," "woman hate me for being pretty," and 'my husband would leave me if I got fat."
The clatter of pork chop bones being thrown angrily at television screens echoed throughout the UK as all the women in Britain more zaftig than Samantha expressed their opinions of her.
Keep in mind this is Britain; here in America no man in his right mind would threaten to leave his wife if her clothes started to get tight. This is not because we American men are less shallow or body-conscious than our British cousins. It is because here in the USA we have vicious lawyers who would treat us to a divorce proceeding that would make being torn apart by ravenous piranhas seem as soothing as a bubble bath if we were to mention any figure flaws belonging to our wives out loud. To them or anybody else.
As for Samantha's claim that fat women are failures, she should be reminded that Oprah made the equivalent of the Thin One's entire annual income this morning in the five minutes it took Samantha to eat her bowl of flower stems for breakfast. As far as other women hating her for being pretty, the easy answer is Not until now! Probably no one even noticed she was pretty before she put the claim in last week. I mean, she's a nice-looking middle-aged lady, but she's not going to make your eyes bug out. Sure, some of her immediate circle probably rolled their eyes whenever she touched up her makeup at the conference table, or sniffed when she consumed her lunch of a single slice of cucumber and a glass of tepid water in the company cafeteria and exclaimed "I'm so full!" afterwards, but she hadn't yet earned the scowling hatred of every woman in the English-speaking world who's ever considered buying control-top panty hose instead of vomiting before squeezing into a dress.
And now she has. Likely the thing that other women hate about her most is that fat guys get a pass from her. They're not failures, apparently, even if they order their pizzas so big they have to delivered on flatbed trucks or they fatally overdose on Quadruple Bypass burgers. We males can mac out all we want, and Samantha will still dine on half of a pack of airline crackers tonight, just to please us.
Love that girl.
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