I was tweaking the car radio dials while I was stuck in traffic the other day, and paused on a station that was playing what seemed at first to be Sir Mix-A-Lot's rap classic, "Baby Got Back." Then I realized that someone had re-written the lyrics for the upcoming election. This is how it went:
I like babies and I can not lie,
You other politicians can't deny,
That when a baby gets in your face
No matter what the race,
You wanna kiss her, not diss her,
'Cause her mama's gotta vote with yer
But if dat baby's Spanish
My love for it gone vanish
Anchor Baby go back!
Anchor Baby go back!
Ask my homie Trumpie
Or Teddy Cruz, or Chrissie Dumpty,
Dat baby's got dat brown skin,
Dat child's kiss gone do you in,
If dat rugrat is Latino,
It just another bean-o
With the bathwater throw it out,
'Cause white folks like to shout
Anchor Baby go back!
Anchor Baby go back!
You say that makes me meana
Than Paul or Fiorina
I don't care what you say,
Give that chile the boo-tay
Give that nino the heave-ho
Back across the Grande Rio
We ain't gonna let you in
Least till you learn to swim,
Anchor Baby go back!
Anchor Baby go back!
Yer mom's from Tijuana
That means we don't want ya
Just cause you were born here
Don't mean you belong here,
All us love America a lot,
Get out that Home Depot parking lot
I know you used to own it
But guess what—we rezoned it!
Anchor Baby go back!
Anchor Baby go back!
Yer pappy's work ain't crappy
He makes his bosses happy
Yer mama cleans my shower
Fer just eight bucks an hour
But your stay here ain't permanent
When it my turn at President
And I'll be getting cracker votes
When your brown ass waves us "Adios!"
Anchor Baby go back!
Anchor Baby go back!
Anchor Baby go back!
Bass line continues, while other voices say "Get out!' "Beat it!" and "Amscray" in the background. The DJ samples the Beatles "Get Back" (Back to where you once belonged) and the song fades out.
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