Candidate Kardashian
Donald Trump will announce his candidacy for the Presidency of the United States on an upcoming edition of his reality show, The Apprentice.
Trump has no background in politics, diplomacy or government. He has declared Chapter 11 bankruptcy twice. He is currently running second in the polls for the Republican nomination for the 2012 election.
Immediately realizing that having no resume in governance or personal economic skills was an advantage in the current electoral climate, fellow reality TV stars Kim Kardashian and Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino have made their own plans to run for President.
Sorrentino said his White House would feature an Oval Hot Tub rather than the standard Oval Office and that, if elected, he would probably chose to run the nation while relaxing in it.
A spokesman added "This country is ready for its first full-time shirtless President. Sure, the guy we have now takes off his shirt once in a while to shoot some hoops and that Russian dude is always flashing his paltry abs, but neither one of them can boast of having done five hundred crunches a day his whole life while training for the leadership of the Free World."
Sorrentino himself added "And isn't there someplace called the Situation Room already? I seen that in plenty of movies. It's like I already own it, bro."
Kardashian's platform stopped short of promising a shirtless Presidency, but sister Khloe, Kim's campaign manager, was quoted as saying "It'll be more like a 'Hail to the Cleavage" Administration.
Neither Kardashian nor Sorrentino will be legally old enough to be President in 2013. When questioned about this potentially insurmountable problem for their candidacies, Sorrentino replied "If you think getting a fake birth certificate in Hawaii is easy, you ain't been to Jersey," and Kardashian said. "Look at these. Just look. How often do you think I get asked for my ID?"
Trump has no background in politics, diplomacy or government. He has declared Chapter 11 bankruptcy twice. He is currently running second in the polls for the Republican nomination for the 2012 election.
Immediately realizing that having no resume in governance or personal economic skills was an advantage in the current electoral climate, fellow reality TV stars Kim Kardashian and Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino have made their own plans to run for President.
Sorrentino said his White House would feature an Oval Hot Tub rather than the standard Oval Office and that, if elected, he would probably chose to run the nation while relaxing in it.
A spokesman added "This country is ready for its first full-time shirtless President. Sure, the guy we have now takes off his shirt once in a while to shoot some hoops and that Russian dude is always flashing his paltry abs, but neither one of them can boast of having done five hundred crunches a day his whole life while training for the leadership of the Free World."
Sorrentino himself added "And isn't there someplace called the Situation Room already? I seen that in plenty of movies. It's like I already own it, bro."
Kardashian's platform stopped short of promising a shirtless Presidency, but sister Khloe, Kim's campaign manager, was quoted as saying "It'll be more like a 'Hail to the Cleavage" Administration.
Neither Kardashian nor Sorrentino will be legally old enough to be President in 2013. When questioned about this potentially insurmountable problem for their candidacies, Sorrentino replied "If you think getting a fake birth certificate in Hawaii is easy, you ain't been to Jersey," and Kardashian said. "Look at these. Just look. How often do you think I get asked for my ID?"
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