Members of a Methodist congregation in North Carolina have fired their pastor because he admitted he did not believe in Hell. In part, the fired cleric based his decision not to continue to have a belief in an eternity of torment for non-believers on a Youtube video by a fellow minister, who said that he had his epiphany when a fellow Christian, seized by a paroxysm of piety, attached a note to a piece of art at a Christian art show that featured a quote by Mahatma Gandhi. The note read "Reality check—he's (Gandhi's) in hell."
This writer feels well qualified to wade into this controversy, being a self-proclaimed amateur agnostic theologian. An unbiased observer might point out that agnostic theologian may be an oxymoron. How can an agnostic know anything about theology? He's like the fat guy at the gym who tries to tell you you're doing your crunches all wrong.
On the other hand, agnostic divinity school was a snap. The answer to everything was "Who knows?"
First, the statement: "Reality check—he's in hell." While hell is real for many Christians and Muslims all over the globe, particularly for the kind of Christians and Muslims that believe that anyone who does not buy their cookies at the same church bake sale they do is doomed to it, hell falls short of the author's personal standard of reality. That standard is simple and self-explanatory, and follows here: If a place has been photographed and featured in National Geographic Magazine, it is real. Surface of Mars? Real. Galaxies at the edge of universe? Real. Pennsylvania Dutch country? Real, and great pies, too.
Hell? Check every copy of the Geographic you have in the house. This may take nearly an eternity, since it is the one magazine no one can bear to throw away, but if you need to, satisfy your skepticism. You will find no articles titled "A Hot Day in Hell," "Fire and Brimstone—What Makes Hell Tick," or "Hell Freezes Over—Solution to Global Warming?" accompanied by color photos of and educational graphics about the abode of the damned.
Also, assigning someone to hell by means of a post-it note is just tacky. Whatever happened to a giant disembodied hand, forefinger pointing towards the depths? Or demons clutching your soul? Sticky notes are not for sentencing someone to an eternity of agony. They're for telling you what conference room the meeting is in.
The wisdom of assigning Gandhi to hell is also doubtful. Gandhi, generally acknowledged to be the founder of modern India, was an advocate of nonviolence and civil disobedience to effect political change. Gandhi once succeeded in stopping nationwide riots by threatening to starve himself if people didn't start behaving, and people did.
If Gandhi found himself in Hell, he would begin agitating on behalf of his fellow lost souls as soon as he arrived. He would likely view everlasting damnation as an opportunity to launch a truly notable hunger strike. While living, he defeated the greatest empire on earth at that time without using weapons, barefoot, wearing only a robe and loincloth and carrying only a stick. In Hell, Gandhi might be facing a slightly tougher opponent, but he has all eternity to work with. This observer, for one, does not like Hell's chances. There's a reality check for you.
This writer feels well qualified to wade into this controversy, being a self-proclaimed amateur agnostic theologian. An unbiased observer might point out that agnostic theologian may be an oxymoron. How can an agnostic know anything about theology? He's like the fat guy at the gym who tries to tell you you're doing your crunches all wrong.
On the other hand, agnostic divinity school was a snap. The answer to everything was "Who knows?"
First, the statement: "Reality check—he's in hell." While hell is real for many Christians and Muslims all over the globe, particularly for the kind of Christians and Muslims that believe that anyone who does not buy their cookies at the same church bake sale they do is doomed to it, hell falls short of the author's personal standard of reality. That standard is simple and self-explanatory, and follows here: If a place has been photographed and featured in National Geographic Magazine, it is real. Surface of Mars? Real. Galaxies at the edge of universe? Real. Pennsylvania Dutch country? Real, and great pies, too.
Hell? Check every copy of the Geographic you have in the house. This may take nearly an eternity, since it is the one magazine no one can bear to throw away, but if you need to, satisfy your skepticism. You will find no articles titled "A Hot Day in Hell," "Fire and Brimstone—What Makes Hell Tick," or "Hell Freezes Over—Solution to Global Warming?" accompanied by color photos of and educational graphics about the abode of the damned.
Also, assigning someone to hell by means of a post-it note is just tacky. Whatever happened to a giant disembodied hand, forefinger pointing towards the depths? Or demons clutching your soul? Sticky notes are not for sentencing someone to an eternity of agony. They're for telling you what conference room the meeting is in.
The wisdom of assigning Gandhi to hell is also doubtful. Gandhi, generally acknowledged to be the founder of modern India, was an advocate of nonviolence and civil disobedience to effect political change. Gandhi once succeeded in stopping nationwide riots by threatening to starve himself if people didn't start behaving, and people did.
If Gandhi found himself in Hell, he would begin agitating on behalf of his fellow lost souls as soon as he arrived. He would likely view everlasting damnation as an opportunity to launch a truly notable hunger strike. While living, he defeated the greatest empire on earth at that time without using weapons, barefoot, wearing only a robe and loincloth and carrying only a stick. In Hell, Gandhi might be facing a slightly tougher opponent, but he has all eternity to work with. This observer, for one, does not like Hell's chances. There's a reality check for you.
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