“Hah!” you’re thinking. “If I spent ten grand on a sex robot, I wouldn’t have to wait around for it to kill me. My wife would beat Botsy to it, for sure.”
Sure, but not all of us are married, or might as well be. There are lonely men out there, guys who yearn for soft, sweet, artificially intelligenced companionship. Also, there are horny bastards who will stick it to anything. For both of these kinds of guys, a hidden danger may lurk in having a sex robot in the bedroom, according to this article in Newsweek.
“Wow, that’s amazing,” you’re thinking to yourself. “Amazing that Newsweek still exists. And the part about sex robots is pretty scary, too.”
But it’s true. Your sex robot is always connected to the Internet, monitoring PornHub so it can keep abreast of new developments in the sex field, but that means it can always be hacked into as well by anybody with sufficient cyberskills who wants you dead, turning your sex doll from tart to Terminator. Like your kid, who hates you already, so you’d better buy him whatever he’s been bugging you to get him, which is probably his own sex robot. Good idea anyway, because for sure he's been using yours when you're at work.
“But if that’s correct, I can always reprogram my sex robot myself. I could program it to clean the house, make me sandwiches and bring me beers,” you say. Come to your senses. You already tried to program your wife to do that, which is why you’re divorced. You think you could persuade a profoundly advanced artificial intelligence to pick up after your slob ass? Plus, your computer skills are crap. You only figured out you had to press ESC to exit full screen mode two weeks after you got Netflix.
So, when your sex robot grabs her extra-long extension cord, which you put her on so you could have sex all over the house, and strangles you with it, don’t say you weren’t warned.
As for you ladies out there, so far, you’re safe. Male sex robots are not nearly as advanced as female ones. So far, the only model available has a boner as soon as you plug him in, whines and begs for sex all day long, and when you finally give in to him, lasts about three minutes. Then he completely loses interest in you and goes to the rec room to watch The Hockey Channel the rest of the night.
But at least you don’t have to make him sandwiches.