"Hey, I already live in a repressive theocracy. Why swap one for the other? The chances of finding halal food in a state where the dominant supermarket chain is named Piggily-Wiggily seems pretty remote too, so we Syrians would have the choice between religious observance and starvation. We have that option already here.
"At home, we have wild-eyed ISIS terrorists commanding us to bellow "Allah Akbar! all day long. It's annoying, sure, but is it really worse than drunk, belligerent frat boys urging us to scream 'Roll, Tide, Roll!" constantly?
"As immigrants, we intend to work hard and send our children to the best universities so they can become doctors. How we going to do that in Alabama, where the public schools are even worse than Louisiana's? Make that Zimbabwe's.
"No, I'm staying right here until they let me into Sweden. Or Delaware."
That's all very interesting, sir, and it may be true, but you can't blame Alabamans for being worried about admitting possible terrorists after what happened in Paris. And why shouldn't they worry? Right behind you, on that mound of rubble, someone has spray-painted "Death to Alabama!"
"Oh, don't worry about that. That's our local cab-driver. He's got a masters degree from Ole Miss."