I know you hate it when Obama shows he thinks he’s still in charge of things, Joe. Is this about the Supreme Court?
“You see? You were already lying awake thinking about our feckless President foisting a new Supreme Court Justice on this helpless nation.”
I live in California, Joe. It’s only nine PM here.
“Insomnia strikes early, pal, when you’re as worried about America’s future as Republicans are. After the assassination of Scalia…”
Hold on there, Joe. I’ve heard the conspiracy theorists, but Scalia was a near-octogenarian with health problems who died in his sleep deep in Texas, miles away from any terrorists, or even probably any Democrats. He had a heart attack.
“Yeah, sure. After he woke up and saw he was surrounded by Kenyan Seal Team Six. Anybody would have a heart attack then, knowing that he was about to have undetectable Negro poison injected between his toes. But that’s not why I called. I called about the nerve of Obama in claiming he had the right to appoint a new Supreme Court Justice.”
According to the Constitution, he does.
“Don’t wave the Constitution around at me. We Republicans wave the Constitution around at you. That’s tradition, and that’s what we’re talking about here. Obama’s a lame duck. He shouldn’t be doing anything.”
What if we had another Katrina, Joe? Or we got invaded by the Bahamas? Would you expect Obama to leave those problems to his successor?
“Obviously not. That would be up to Obama to fix, because any events that happened between now and next year, when we’ll have a new President, would obviously be caused by Obama’s executive overreach and his lawless Presidency. Which are the same reasons he thinks he can appoint a successor to Scalia.”
It’s pretty obvious he can, Joe. And It’s pretty obvious the Republicans intend to ignore whoever that is.
“Doing their sacred Constitutional duty of hoping we win the next election so we can fill the empty seat on the Court with someone as fond of the Dark Ages as Scalia was.”
Yeah, Joe, but currently your candidates are a slimy Canadian, a young guy with the looks but unfortunately apparently also the brains of a Chippendale dancer, and the biggest jerk at the country club. Which one of them is going to beat Hillary or Bernie?
“BENGHAZI! BENGHAZI! EMAIL! EMAIL! SOCIALIST! SOCIALIST!”
Do you stick your fingers in your ears when you yell that, Joe? Because everybody else is tired of hearing it, too. But if the Democrats win, they could appoint anybody they want. Obama. Elizabeth Warren. Al Sharpton…
“DON’T SAY THAT!”
What, Al Sharpton?
“Any of them! It’s vitally important that the Supreme Court have at least one justice who never lifts a finger for the poor over the rich, the helpless over the powerful or dark Americans over pale Americans.”
That was Scalia, all right.
“It’s his heritage, God rest his soul.”