In a routine procedure at Johns Hopkins Hospital, disgraced former Tour de France and Olympic champion Lance Armstrong was stripped of his remaining testicle.

"He cheated when he beat everyone in France. He cheated when he won in the Olympics. He cheated when he won every medal in US cycling. He probably cheated on Sheryl Crowe. Why should he be allowed to cheat cancer, too?" a spokesman for the International Bicycle Seat Union (IBSU) was quoted as saying after the operation was complete.

The testicle will be donated to the needy. The New York Jets have been suggested as a possible recipient.

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