It has been described by the Caucasian-in-Chief as “war-ravaged,” despite a lack of resemblance to any authentic war zone. Rubble-strewn streets and emergency amputations are rare to nonexistent. Ambulances pocked with bullet holes, driven and manned by heroic EMT’s, do not drive frantically from one bombed structure to another, tying tourniquets on the limbs of innocents to keep them from bleeding to death in Portland.
No, in Portland you’re much more likely to send a text message to your homeopathic healer complaining about your fading aura than you are to search the sky for drones or the street for IED’s. Nonetheless the Demented Dictator is threatening to use “Full Force” against the City of Roses.
What Full Force (unnecessary capitalization by the Bronze-Faced Fascist, naturally) means is not immediately clear. Does it mean that the military men dispatched to clear out the nests of vegans and bongo drummers that infest Portland will start shooting them on sight? Will every pot shop and chandlery be subject to RPG fire? Will the city’s witches, shamans and pagan priestesses be rounded up and forced into internment camps, fed only watered-down Campbell’s Chunky Soup, and await their judgement under the light of the next full moon?
Or will the entire place be laid waste? Let’s face it, MAGA Americans, and by that, I mean people who buy their clothes at Walmart and think Taco Bell is Mexican food, have no use for places like Portland, where beaded transsexuals pee wherever they want and there are more vegetarian restaurants than there are ammo shops. If Trump blows the whole place up, and claims it was too infested by Antifa to save, Laura Loomer is not going to blink an eye.
And if it turns out the last unredacted copy of the Epstein files was accidentally left at ground zero, which in Portland is probably going to be the Farmer’s Market, nobody is going to be super surprised.
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