It was a hard decision for me as an American voter last year when it came time to pull the lever for President. In the end, after weighing the pros and cons over and over, I decided to vote for Musk.
Why? For several reasons. First off, because Elon has never cooked a meal for himself in his life. I know the amount of time I spend buying groceries so that my wife and I can argue over who should prepare them, or even looking for delivery pizza coupons on the Internet, keeps me from puzzling over domestic and foreign policy as much as I should. A man who has every meal brought to him by humble, likely hunchbacked, servants has much more free time to contemplate complex global problems.
Elon Musk has never used a washing machine. He takes off his clothes every night and throws them on the floor, and new or washed clothes appear in his closet the next day, likely hung there by efficient, thoroughly subservient gnomes. My wife recently bought a new washing machine. It had several buttons and controls I was not familiar with, and she had to patiently explain them to me before suggesting I wash my own clothes. A man freed from the tyranny of laundry is a man who can point the way to freedom from the Deep State.
Elon Musk has never had a medical bill he couldn’t afford to pay. This gives him a clear-eyed view of people who can’t pay to see a doctor, and why that is not the fault of the government, or Musk, or Jeff Bezos. Even though Musk hates Bezos, he agrees with Jeff that all Americans should get their health care through Amazon Prime.
Elon Musk has never been to the DMV, despite owning thousands of cars. Even though Elon has never had to vie for the attention of sullen state employees in his life, it is part of his genius that he understands that all government workers can be replaced by nobody, an echo of the thought I had last time I was at the DMV for more than three hours, which was that “Every one of these lazy bastards ought to be fired.”
I thoroughly resent people who view my voting for Musk as “racist,” or being “poorly educated.” As you can see from the reasoning above, my logic regarding my support for the Musk Administration is impeccable. If I were racist, I would hardly be expected to back people with unusual skin tones of any kind. I fully support Musk, despite his unnatural pallor. Also, Donald Trump, whose orangeness is legendary, and public health hero RFK Jr., whose complexion can best be described as “ruddy,” or, perhaps “ruddy, squared.” Are these the words of a man who judges people by their character, not the color of their skin (or makeup, or hair dye)? If you answer yes, your misjudgment of me is complete.
The country needed to move on, and by that, I mean move on from five-dollar eggs to nine-dollar eggs. You will see America become great again under Musk, just like Space X, Tesla and PayPal did, although I had to close my PayPal account to avoid fraud charges, and a piece of somebody’s rocket landed in my yard in Texas.
And my car won’t start.
Why? For several reasons. First off, because Elon has never cooked a meal for himself in his life. I know the amount of time I spend buying groceries so that my wife and I can argue over who should prepare them, or even looking for delivery pizza coupons on the Internet, keeps me from puzzling over domestic and foreign policy as much as I should. A man who has every meal brought to him by humble, likely hunchbacked, servants has much more free time to contemplate complex global problems.
Elon Musk has never used a washing machine. He takes off his clothes every night and throws them on the floor, and new or washed clothes appear in his closet the next day, likely hung there by efficient, thoroughly subservient gnomes. My wife recently bought a new washing machine. It had several buttons and controls I was not familiar with, and she had to patiently explain them to me before suggesting I wash my own clothes. A man freed from the tyranny of laundry is a man who can point the way to freedom from the Deep State.
Elon Musk has never had a medical bill he couldn’t afford to pay. This gives him a clear-eyed view of people who can’t pay to see a doctor, and why that is not the fault of the government, or Musk, or Jeff Bezos. Even though Musk hates Bezos, he agrees with Jeff that all Americans should get their health care through Amazon Prime.
Elon Musk has never been to the DMV, despite owning thousands of cars. Even though Elon has never had to vie for the attention of sullen state employees in his life, it is part of his genius that he understands that all government workers can be replaced by nobody, an echo of the thought I had last time I was at the DMV for more than three hours, which was that “Every one of these lazy bastards ought to be fired.”
I thoroughly resent people who view my voting for Musk as “racist,” or being “poorly educated.” As you can see from the reasoning above, my logic regarding my support for the Musk Administration is impeccable. If I were racist, I would hardly be expected to back people with unusual skin tones of any kind. I fully support Musk, despite his unnatural pallor. Also, Donald Trump, whose orangeness is legendary, and public health hero RFK Jr., whose complexion can best be described as “ruddy,” or, perhaps “ruddy, squared.” Are these the words of a man who judges people by their character, not the color of their skin (or makeup, or hair dye)? If you answer yes, your misjudgment of me is complete.
The country needed to move on, and by that, I mean move on from five-dollar eggs to nine-dollar eggs. You will see America become great again under Musk, just like Space X, Tesla and PayPal did, although I had to close my PayPal account to avoid fraud charges, and a piece of somebody’s rocket landed in my yard in Texas.
And my car won’t start.
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