The Orange Oligarch has decided to expand his role in the DC crime crackdown beyond that of a mere ride-along to actively join the ICE, the FBI and the National Guard, among others, by donning a form-fitting golden suit with built-in abs and muscles and emulating fictional billionaire Bruce Wayne by becoming a secret superhero.
The name Trump will operate under has not been decided yet, although Grabman, Snatchman and Gotchaman are being considered. The golden, heavily armed and armored Trumpmobile will not be paid for by US tax dollars, but instead will be donated by Qatar, whose foreign minister commented, “Yeah, it looks like we had an extra one of those, too.”
JD Vance will accompany Trump as another costumed vigilante and be known as Pigeon, The Young Pooper.
Stephen Miller will be Nazi Alfred, maintaining a golden tunnel underneath the White House for Trump to emerge from at night, and Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt will make an occasional cameo appearance as Grabgirl, Snatchgirl, etc., although Secretary of Defense Pete “Stand back, I may be about to hurl,” Hegseth confided to an anonymous source that “her tits might not be up for the role,” and that Homeland Security sweetie pie Kristi Noem might grab the gig, “because her knobs are breathtaking in all of her costumes.”
Snatchgrabman (another nom de guerre under consideration) is prepared to fight hand-to-hand with a series of carefully curated enemies. The Federal Reserver, The Leftist Judger, Jeffrey the Deadman, and the Cankler will be among the masked baddies that Trump faces off against, in between shipping all the brown people who talk funny English he can find off to Uganda.
More as this story develops.
The name Trump will operate under has not been decided yet, although Grabman, Snatchman and Gotchaman are being considered. The golden, heavily armed and armored Trumpmobile will not be paid for by US tax dollars, but instead will be donated by Qatar, whose foreign minister commented, “Yeah, it looks like we had an extra one of those, too.”
JD Vance will accompany Trump as another costumed vigilante and be known as Pigeon, The Young Pooper.
Stephen Miller will be Nazi Alfred, maintaining a golden tunnel underneath the White House for Trump to emerge from at night, and Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt will make an occasional cameo appearance as Grabgirl, Snatchgirl, etc., although Secretary of Defense Pete “Stand back, I may be about to hurl,” Hegseth confided to an anonymous source that “her tits might not be up for the role,” and that Homeland Security sweetie pie Kristi Noem might grab the gig, “because her knobs are breathtaking in all of her costumes.”
Snatchgrabman (another nom de guerre under consideration) is prepared to fight hand-to-hand with a series of carefully curated enemies. The Federal Reserver, The Leftist Judger, Jeffrey the Deadman, and the Cankler will be among the masked baddies that Trump faces off against, in between shipping all the brown people who talk funny English he can find off to Uganda.
More as this story develops.
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