With pro sports team names and Coke sugar I’m smitten
Keeps ‘em from thinkin’ ‘bout underage kittens!
My ankles are swollen, but Obama’s fate’s written,
House subcommittees, all tied up in strings!
These are a few of my favorite things!
Pam Bondi’s Botox and Kristi’s eyelashes,
Gabbard’s my kind of warm Russian passion,
While Alina and Leavitt are plumping my cushions,
Hegseth’s a drunk and Patel won’t last
But their lips feel so moist when they’re kissing my ass!
Kaczynski is family and so is Vlad Putin,
That bruise on my hand is from hand-shaking while lootin’
I love my ICE men and the bullets they’re shootin’
It feels so good I just need to sing!
I’ve got the Bureau redacting some things!
There’s abortions in alleys, and Canada’s toast!
There’s Nazis at rallies, and tariffs on roasts!
I make idle threats and do meaningless boasts!
But all my sycophants tell me I rock!
My problems are smaller than Mike Johnson’s cock!
When the media bites,
And old Murdoch stings,
And I'm filled with dread!
I think of a few of my favorite things
And then I thank me,
Jeff Epstein is dead!
Keeps ‘em from thinkin’ ‘bout underage kittens!
My ankles are swollen, but Obama’s fate’s written,
House subcommittees, all tied up in strings!
These are a few of my favorite things!
Pam Bondi’s Botox and Kristi’s eyelashes,
Gabbard’s my kind of warm Russian passion,
While Alina and Leavitt are plumping my cushions,
Hegseth’s a drunk and Patel won’t last
But their lips feel so moist when they’re kissing my ass!
Kaczynski is family and so is Vlad Putin,
That bruise on my hand is from hand-shaking while lootin’
I love my ICE men and the bullets they’re shootin’
It feels so good I just need to sing!
I’ve got the Bureau redacting some things!
There’s abortions in alleys, and Canada’s toast!
There’s Nazis at rallies, and tariffs on roasts!
I make idle threats and do meaningless boasts!
But all my sycophants tell me I rock!
My problems are smaller than Mike Johnson’s cock!
When the media bites,
And old Murdoch stings,
And I'm filled with dread!
I think of a few of my favorite things
And then I thank me,
Jeff Epstein is dead!
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