Karen McDougal, who was grabbed by Trump The Traitor Tot, at one of his pep rallies last week, made several amusing claims about the Border Patrol tear-gassing the refugees who stormed the border near San Diego recently. First he claimed that three BP officers were seriously injured, to which the head of the Border Patrol said “WTF?” Next, he said that the tear gas used on the refugees was a particularly mild and enjoyable variety, the Bud Light of tear gases, hardly more noxious than being stuck in an elevator with a guy who is wearing too much cologne.
The Mexican government nonetheless acted like weinies by pointing out that shooting poisonous vapors over an international border is an act of war, kinda-sorta, and suggesting that Trump in the future should allow the refugees completely onto American soil before gassing them.
But the most startling claim made by the Prez is that the children he tear-gassed were not attempting to enter the US with their parents, but by men who had seized them to use as human shields. “They're called “grabbers,” he asserted solemnly.
This we must take seriously, as it comes from a man who knows how to grab. From random vagina to Russian money, grabbing has been a Trump trademark. While he has only occasionally been accused of grabbing children, it allegedly was only for the purpose of having underage sex with them, not shielding himself from a tear gas attack. We have to admit that gives him the high moral ground in the argument.
The refugees were confused by Trump's terminology, since the word “grabber” does not translate well into Spanish. “Ladron,” or “thief” is suggested by Google, but that doesn't seem really precise enough. “To take” is “tomar,” but when a waiter in Tijuana asks you “Algo de tomar?” he means “Do you want something to drink?” There are no overtones of kidnapping in the question.
Going to the source, we interviewed a few of the refugees through a translator, and all of them vigorously denied seizing other people's children and using them to avoid the effects of tear gas. “A wet bandanna works better,” they all agreed, and when pressed about how the rumor that they do so got started, they said, rather shamefacedly, “That's all locker room talk.”
The Mexican government nonetheless acted like weinies by pointing out that shooting poisonous vapors over an international border is an act of war, kinda-sorta, and suggesting that Trump in the future should allow the refugees completely onto American soil before gassing them.
But the most startling claim made by the Prez is that the children he tear-gassed were not attempting to enter the US with their parents, but by men who had seized them to use as human shields. “They're called “grabbers,” he asserted solemnly.
This we must take seriously, as it comes from a man who knows how to grab. From random vagina to Russian money, grabbing has been a Trump trademark. While he has only occasionally been accused of grabbing children, it allegedly was only for the purpose of having underage sex with them, not shielding himself from a tear gas attack. We have to admit that gives him the high moral ground in the argument.
The refugees were confused by Trump's terminology, since the word “grabber” does not translate well into Spanish. “Ladron,” or “thief” is suggested by Google, but that doesn't seem really precise enough. “To take” is “tomar,” but when a waiter in Tijuana asks you “Algo de tomar?” he means “Do you want something to drink?” There are no overtones of kidnapping in the question.
Going to the source, we interviewed a few of the refugees through a translator, and all of them vigorously denied seizing other people's children and using them to avoid the effects of tear gas. “A wet bandanna works better,” they all agreed, and when pressed about how the rumor that they do so got started, they said, rather shamefacedly, “That's all locker room talk.”
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