The Republicans briefly considered running on their real platform, which is forcing women who want an abortion to travel to New York or California, making it as difficult for people who do not have trust funds to vote as possible, and letting the Koch brothers buy all the elections they can afford. Even Republicans are self-aware enough to realize that these positions might not capture a majority of the vote, so they have set about warning everybody about socialism.
“If we elect Democrats, we are going to become just like Venezuela, where everybody speaks Spanish while they starve to death. And the proof of that is that Occasionally-Cortez person, who has a Spanish name,” cry the major Republicans. “So, no Medicare for all. And let’s cut Social Security too, because old people are willing to live on crumbs rather than learn to speak Spanish."
You will never hear a Republican mention Norway, Denmark or Finland, where people have universal health care and secure government pensions and which are, literally, Disney propaganda notwithstanding, the Happiest Places on Earth.
No, here in the US, people going bankrupt over medical bills and old people eating dog food to survive are what makes us the greatest nation on the planet, and we should honor them for their sacrifices, because they are the only thing that keeps us from becoming another Venezuela. So, help that tiny old woman by getting her favorite flavor of Alpo off the top shelf for her, and pat the guy who’s having a heart attack because he just got the hospital bill from his last heart attack on the back, because they are fighting the tide of socialism in this hemisphere.
Don’t just jeer and flick your cigarette butt at them like they were common homeless veterans begging on a street corner. Giving them money for food and charging them less than a grand a month for health insurance would send us all down the slippery slope to becoming another Cuba or Nicaragua. Or Canada. Or France, Switzerland, Germany, the Netherlands, Belgium, Austria…
“Wait a second,” I hear you thinking. “Some of those places are supposed to be okay.”
Well, they’re not. Just listen to any Republican's horror stories about socialized medicine, where people have to wait a month for a hernia operation that they get for nothing, and contrast it to the American way, where we have to wait a month for a referral from our primary care physician to get the same operation and then have to pay a $7500 deductible before our insurance kicks in, and tell me who has the more efficient system?
So, when you pay $400 bucks a month for your insulin, don’t just think you’re merely spending every last dime you have keeping yourself alive.
You’re fighting socialism. You deserve a donut.