Just wave your tiny hand bye-bye, would ya? Ex-Presidents are supposed to fade away gracefully. Sure, they don’t have to build houses for those who need houses until they’re in their mid-nineties and have survived cancer a couple of times, like Jimmy Carter. They can paint pictures, like Bush Jr., and appear smiling genially at public events, hugging former First Ladies. People will eventually forgive you for presiding over two terms of unwinnable wars and a bonus economic disaster if you do that.
You can just sink your toes in the sand and make deals with Netflix for what it costs to build a smallish Navy warship, like Obama does. You can jump out of airplanes at an age when most people are seriously committed to being dead, like Bush Sr. did when he was 90.
But you don’t plot a comeback, because you know there’s not going to be one. You’re either term-limited out, or you realize that once you’ve lost an election by seven million votes, you’re going to lose the next one, too.
If your grip on reality is on the tenuous side, though, and you’ve demonstrated that above all else during your single, shoot-yourself-up-with-bleach term as President, you can think about it. You can make other people think about it, too. Which is why the Republican Party is like a drunk high school cheerleader at a college frat party.
They’re going to get fucked.
The Republicans have big advantages over the Democrats in most elections. By dint of the Founding Fathers and the science of gerrymandering, the votes of people who are educated and do serious things, like giving us healthcare and building airplanes already count less than the votes of people who spend their weekends drinking Busch Light by the 30-pack and spraying bullets into the vegetation, because educated people tend to cluster in urban areas.
And the bullet-sprayers are really, really enthusiastic about Trump. Way more than they ever were about other Republicans, who dog-whistled to their racist hearts about making those bilingual signs in Walmart illegal and then, once they rode their votes into office, just gave their big campaign contributors tax breaks like they always did, and never did anything about illegal immigration, because those immigrants provided cheap labor for their billionaire buds.
All those signs that read Cuidado-Piso Mojado just stayed on the wet floors at the Dollar General, irritating everyone who thinks that if you can’t speak English, you deserve to slip and herniate a disc here in America.
That’s the crowd that gets out and votes for Trump. They know he really hates immigrants, like they do. Now that he’s given them the raw meat of unalloyed racism, they’re not going back to being dog-whistled at. They’re not stupid.
Oh, wait. They are. Forget I said that.
The point remains the same, though. The Republicans think their only path to victory in future elections is to get every toothless buckaroo in the woods to register and vote Republican. That’s why they’re turning their backs on Republicans they have recently been wildly enthusiastic about, like war-criminal daughter Liz Cheney, just because they publicly admitted Trump lost the election.
What the Republicans don’t seem to realize is that even highly-motivated yick-a-doos are not a majority of the people in this country. Most of us aren’t Hispanic-haters and Jew-baiters.
Or they do realize it.
And they’re just being stupid.
You can just sink your toes in the sand and make deals with Netflix for what it costs to build a smallish Navy warship, like Obama does. You can jump out of airplanes at an age when most people are seriously committed to being dead, like Bush Sr. did when he was 90.
But you don’t plot a comeback, because you know there’s not going to be one. You’re either term-limited out, or you realize that once you’ve lost an election by seven million votes, you’re going to lose the next one, too.
If your grip on reality is on the tenuous side, though, and you’ve demonstrated that above all else during your single, shoot-yourself-up-with-bleach term as President, you can think about it. You can make other people think about it, too. Which is why the Republican Party is like a drunk high school cheerleader at a college frat party.
They’re going to get fucked.
The Republicans have big advantages over the Democrats in most elections. By dint of the Founding Fathers and the science of gerrymandering, the votes of people who are educated and do serious things, like giving us healthcare and building airplanes already count less than the votes of people who spend their weekends drinking Busch Light by the 30-pack and spraying bullets into the vegetation, because educated people tend to cluster in urban areas.
And the bullet-sprayers are really, really enthusiastic about Trump. Way more than they ever were about other Republicans, who dog-whistled to their racist hearts about making those bilingual signs in Walmart illegal and then, once they rode their votes into office, just gave their big campaign contributors tax breaks like they always did, and never did anything about illegal immigration, because those immigrants provided cheap labor for their billionaire buds.
All those signs that read Cuidado-Piso Mojado just stayed on the wet floors at the Dollar General, irritating everyone who thinks that if you can’t speak English, you deserve to slip and herniate a disc here in America.
That’s the crowd that gets out and votes for Trump. They know he really hates immigrants, like they do. Now that he’s given them the raw meat of unalloyed racism, they’re not going back to being dog-whistled at. They’re not stupid.
Oh, wait. They are. Forget I said that.
The point remains the same, though. The Republicans think their only path to victory in future elections is to get every toothless buckaroo in the woods to register and vote Republican. That’s why they’re turning their backs on Republicans they have recently been wildly enthusiastic about, like war-criminal daughter Liz Cheney, just because they publicly admitted Trump lost the election.
What the Republicans don’t seem to realize is that even highly-motivated yick-a-doos are not a majority of the people in this country. Most of us aren’t Hispanic-haters and Jew-baiters.
Or they do realize it.
And they’re just being stupid.
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