"You know, putting a national lockdown, stay at home orders, is like house arrest. Other than slavery, which was a different kind of restraint, this is the greatest intrusion on civil liberties in American history," Barr said.
To describe having to wear a mask in the middle of a plague as a “different kind of restraint” as opposed to actually being owned and forced to work for other people belongs in the Euphemism Hall of Fame, is what you’re thinking. How many bowls of ice cream did Barr eat to get on a sugar high so intense that it would cause him to babble that out loud?
Conservatives love to compare things to slavery, for shock effect and also to let us know that they finally disapprove of it, even though they depend on the votes of white supremacists to get elected, and those people think it was a fine idea. It’s been the mantra on the right for years that the Democratic grip on the black vote is akin to slavery, when it’s really black reluctance to vote for people whom they know can barely conceal their distaste for them. Conservative bipolar black musical artist and Presidential candidate Kanye West was recorded urinating on one of his Grammys the other day while complaining that the American music industry was worse than slavery, when, really, it’s not. Take your meds, Kanye.
Some other stuff has happened in the story of America that possibly caused more hardship than having to wash your hands frequently. Maybe they should print history on the inside of pizza boxes, so Barr can have a chance to read it when he feeds. We interned Japanese citizens during World War II just because they were Japanese, for one. If those people were given an option between getting ripped out of their homes and put in camps and wearing a mask every time they went outside, which do you think they would have chosen?
Women weren’t given the vote here until 1919. If suffragettes were told, “All right, you can vote if you stand six feet apart,” do you think they would have said, “Nah, we’ll wait another sixty years?”
If Native Americans were told, “Okay, you can keep your ancestral lands. No death marches, no cavalry attacks, no blankets infected with smallpox. You just have to gather in groups of less than fifty for a year or so,” do you think they would have replied, “Nope, we’ll just wait until you let us have casinos?”
There are other examples available—giving black guys syphilis so you could win the science fair comes to mind—but you’re getting my drift. Barr knows there’s lots worse things America has done than make people wear masks so they don’t snot virus all over each other. He just wants perfectly free white Americans to complain that they’re reliving the lives of slaves when they have to put on a mask to get into Walgreens, and that the chains are just going to be clamped on tighter if they even think about voting for Biden.
And we know you’re just doing your job, not merely auditioning for the Shameless Fat Shitbird Pantheon of Heroes, Bill.
Just don’t watch your cholesterol on my account.