Granted, many Trump supporters are hugely disappointed that they won’t be starting the trenching for the wall anytime soon, because they are sick of seeing bilingual Walmart smiley faces and they are deeply angry about having to hear “Para Espanol, marque el dos,” every time they dial the drug store to refill their oxycontin prescriptions.
Also eager to see the plans are the Mexican drug cartels, because they want to know how deep they’ll have to go to tunnel under it.
But the wall is delayed, or possibly never going to happen. This gives us a little (or perhaps a lot) of breathing space to make sure the wall gets done right, and to view other walls with an eye to making ours the best wall ever, a really great wall, a beautiful wall. When you Google “wall of,” and “wall between,” here are the top contenders:
The Great Wall of China. Used to be a big deal when it was the only human structure visible from space, but now that, thanks to Google Earth, your backyard is visible from space, and in such detail that you can practically see the mosquitos breeding in that wading pool you need to clean out, it’s lost a little of its shine. But it’s still big. It was built to keep the Mongol hordes from invading China, which it did for a while, but then they invaded anyway and took over and had their own nice little dynasty. So, the Wall didn’t work. Still looks effective from space, though. People who have flown with Chinese astronauts complain that those guys never get sick of pointing it out.
Berlin Wall—The guard towers, the machine-gunning people trying to flee Communist oppression only to end up dead in the snow, sometimes obscure the fact that the Berlin Wall did a great job did keeping people out of East Berlin, too. Nobody but a few spies ever wanted to go there, though, since the main entertainment in East Berlin during the Cold War was eating cabbage in unheated rooms and betraying your neighbors to the Stasi, so you could eat their cabbage, too.
Wall of Voodoo— ‘80’s punk rock band whose biggest hit was titled “Mexican Radio.” Coincidence? The thinking here is “Yup.”
The Wall from Game of Thrones—This is a huge wall, thousands of feet high, built entirely of ice, so not practical for the Southwestern heat. We could build one against Canada, though, if we want to keep out hockey players and comedians that are taking work away from American hockey players and comedians. Also stops wildlings and ice zombies, which many Canadian citizens act like. And nobody drinks Moosehead anymore.
The Wall built by South Korea against North Korea--This is the Schrodinger’s cat of walls. North Korea claims it is a huge structure, which, oddly enough, they also claim is only visible from North Korea. You can’t see it from South Korea. South Korea says “WTF are you talking about?” every time North Korea starts babbling about a giant wall, because there isn’t one.
I think we’ve found our solution. Reince Priebus, are you listening?