The Gilt toddler put a .45 caliber slug through his mommy’s liver in what had to be a surprise development for Jamie, who just the day before had bragged on Facebook that her tyke got “jacked” for target shooting with a .22. Ms. Gilt was active on social media, hosting a page on FB titled “Jamie Gilt for Gun Sense,” on which she sneered at liberals and other pussy types who were unwilling to risk being shot by their offspring.
Apparently she does not wish to be sneered back at, however, because the page has been taken down.
How the gun got fired from the back seat has not been determined by the authorities, although everybody knows how bored kids get on long car rides. How long can you play “I Spy” without being overcome by ennui? Jamie owned quite a few weapons, and giving one to her little boy to clean to help him pass the time might have seemed like a good idea before he pulled the trigger. Nobody likes to come home to a dirty arsenal.
Or Jamie could have had the solid common sense to have belted her baby into one of the increasingly popular “Open Carry Car Seats” which allow responsible gun owners to pack their child and their chiller into one, easy-to-transport bundle.
The child is said to be unaffected by the trauma of bulleting his mother. Whether this is because he has been shielded from the truth by the other members of his family or whether he is a budding psychopath who in the future will fill other people’s mommies full of hot lead cannot at this point be determined. All involved are assuming the shooting was accidental, although Jamie was said to have the habit, so common in members of her sex, of changing the radio station every fifteen seconds while driving anywhere, and every male in America, even one as young as four, knows how maddening that can be. So we may have a motive.
Jamie has already proclaimed from her hospital bed that being plugged by her little angel will not change her attitude towards guns and gun safety. She will continue to own multiple gats, as she feels this practice makes her family more secure. The only speck in the gun oil of this roseate future may be the laws of the state of Florida, which inexplicably has a statute on the books making it a crime to leave a loaded gun anywhere where a child can access it, and legal experts agree that tucking a .45 in your baby’s car seat probably qualifies as an offense under that law.
So Jamie, if convicted, might be forbidden to own weapons in the future. This egregious violation of her Second Amendment rights needs to be addressed by the gun-friendly folks of the Florida Legislature. Just because you’re down to one kidney because you’ve already been shot by your little sweetums doesn’t mean you should be forced by the nanny state to live life gun-free.
It wouldn’t be safe.