According to the Tennessean, the post by state Rep. Sheila Butt (R) read:
“It is time for a Council on Christian Relations and a NAAWP in this Country.”
Representative Butt subsequently deleted the Facebook post, but instead of admitting she made it after she and her pals in the Legislature had been sippin' whiskey and telling colored people jokes for hours one Saturday night, she claimed that the NAAWP she had in mind was not the National Association for the Advancement of White People, which has been promoted in the past as a kinder, gentler version of the Klu Klux Klan, but the National Association for the Advancement of Western People.
This is a bold, new, nearly incomprehensible idea, but I am all for it, because I am a western person myself. Me and my fellow San Diegans can't get much further west before we have to start doggie-paddling, so the NAAWP would be a boon to us more than anybody else. In fact, we are much more western than Tennessee, which lies EAST of the Mississippi. Like many western states, though, it takes six hours to drive through it, and one of its major cities is Nashville, the epicenter of country-western music, so I'll give it a geographical pass and let it claim Westerness.
"What do you guys need to be advanced for?" I can imagine Easternists saying that as I type. "You already have better weather and more attractive women."
To which I say "Yeah, so?" Just because we already have everything doesn't mean we don't want more. For one thing, San Diego is one of two cities with both an NFL team and a major league baseball team that has never won either a World Series or a Super Bowl. The other is Houston, which is kind of Western, too. Granting us one or both by legislative fiat means we could quit losing arguments in sports bars to guys visiting from Boston or New York. They could just gnash their teeth as they boarded their flights back home to their bags of rock salt and their chubby girlfriends.
Also, when Easterners are packing their luggage to flee their disgusting winters by coming here, they should be required to bring at least one suitcase packed with snow with them, because we are having a drought and could use it.
The rest of the agenda of the National Association for the Advancement of Western People should consist of forcing the rest of the country to accommodate our tastes. There are bars back East where they only have three beers on tap. We San Diegans look down our noses at any watering hole that does not have at least three different pale ales on tap, along with a plethora of other microbrew choices. You know how many 24/7 taco shops there are in the city of Baltimore? Zero. Where do Baltimoreans go to chill in the hour between the time the bars close and the cops take down all the DUI checkpoints? We don't know, but we're not going there until they install at least a couple of Alberto's.
I mean, you other places aren't ever going to be just like us, with our captive orcas, our perfect placement on the fashionable Pacific Rim and annual Miss Emersom contest.
But me and Tennessee's Butt think you could try just being a little more advanced.