On condition of anonymity, the source confided, “We thought Mexico was sending us rapists, but it turns out they were sending us all their best masons, bricklayers and concrete contractors all along. It turns out there’s not enough non-immigrant Americans with construction skills to put up a picket fence in Nogales. How did we become a nation of people who don’t know which end of a shovel to hold?”
Sad. But are you sure? I’ve seen pictures of gringo contractors.
“Those guys? They look good in hardhats, but all they can do in real life is point at a fellow named Luis, Jose, or Jorge and tell them where the cement needs to go. It’s embarrassing.”
What about all of those unemployed people who were counting on Trump to get them jobs?
“They were thinking more of jobs where they get paid twenty-five bucks an hour to post misspelled stuff on Facebook. America already has plenty of people doing that for free. Even those people you see on the street, wearing “Make America Great Again” caps and holding up signs that say ‘Will Work for Oxycontin,’ aren’t serious about digging holes and putting posts in them.”
What is Trump going to do? He promised us a wall.
“It’s going to be an Alternative Wall now. Instead of concrete and barbed wire, it’ll be crime scene tape and security guards armed with laser pointers from the Rio Grande to San Diego.”
And do you really think that will keep people out?
“The laser pointers are going to have really fresh batteries. And did I mention it’s bilingual crime scene tape?”