"I just filled up my Hummer for a hundred bucks," gasped one delighted man in El Cajon, California. "Praise Obama!"
"That's nothing," said an individual a pump away. "I have two cars, two ATV's, a pickup truck, a ski boat, a fishing boat, a riding mower and an RV the size of Willie Nelson's medical marijuana bill. I'm filling every gas tank on every one of them to the brim. Thank you President Obama!"
A more cogent analyst had this to say "I give credit to Obama's fight to combat global warming and reduce our carbon footprint. The treaty with the Chinese, the constant side-stepping on building the Extra-Large Pipeline to whoosh in more gas for us from Canada—all this has resulted not in six-buck-a-gallon gas like we were warned about, but in oil prices like 2007's. How did he do it? The man is an energy policy genius is the only possible answer."
"ISIS, schimises," said another newly-minted Obama fan. "The only fair measure of a President's Middle East policies is the price of gas at the Kwik-Mart is what I say, and this morning I gave the clerk there a twenty and got six gallons of gas and a two-pack of gooey chocolate cupcakes besides, so in my opinion the actions Obama has taken in Syria, Iraq and Iran have succeeded beyond my wildest expectations. In addition, the cost of keeping my mini-van topped off in case a pandemic occurs and me and my family have to flee for our lives from a spreading contagion has dropped precipitously, so I think the President has the Ebola crisis well in hand, too."
The Tea Party officially disbanded. "We call ourselves the Unleaded Party now," a spokesman said, "and we're burning all of our silly tricorner hats with cheap, abundant gasoline. We need more Presidents with funny names and questionable birth certificates because they've shown they can keep the gas pump primed. Thank you, Obama! And thank you, Kenya, for giving him to us!"
Further to the right on the political spectrum, opinions on Obama hadn't budged. "We still hate the guy," a sovereign citizen in Idaho grumbled, "but I have to admit, the cost of making fertilizer bombs and burning crosses is way down from last year."
Only liberals were sour on the Obama energy successes. "I miss the feeling of superiority my Prius used to give me," one whined. "And my solar-powered house and my shares in a windmill company—what status do they have anymore in a country where everybody's too busy tanking up and rolling to admire them? I'm way disappointed in Obama."