Michele Bachmann: "It had nothing to do with Obama. It had everything to do with the Libyan people's Constitutional Second Amendment right to bear arms and shoot dictators in drainage pipes. The Libyan people were merely exercising their God-given rights as Americans, or Africans, whichever they are."
Herman Cain: "What's going to happen as a result of the Obama Administration's mismanagement of the Libyan situation is now Libyans are going to want to immigrate here illegally, especially if they are relatives of Quaddafi. We need to build an electrified wall between us and Libya as soon as possible, with a sign on it saying "This Fence Will Kill You!" in English and in Libyanese."
Mitt Romney: "I would have engaged our allies at the earliest possible moments, arrived at a consensus with other world leaders, kept American involvement to aerial bombardment so as not to risk American lives and let the Libyan people overthrow Quaddafi by themselves, just like Obama did. Only I would claim it was completely different."
Rick Perry: "I don't know what I would have done different, except for sure I wouldn't have pardoned him. Or those guys what drug him around in that pickup truck. I wouldna pardoned them, either."
Jon Huntsman: "As you know, I was once Obama's Ambassador to China. If I had been his Ambassador to Libya, this never would have happened, because I would have stabbed Quaddafi in the back. Do you find that hard to believe? Don't."
Newt Gingrich: "Like Quaddafi, I too was once driven mad by power. I bought jewels for my mistresses and signed six-figure publishing contracts. I lorded it over a mighty nation and laid my enemies low. I only ruled for four years though, and that dude had forty-two as king of the hill. Nice run, bro."
Rick Santorum: "Many people aren't aware that abortion was illegal in Libya under Quaddafi. Despite all the torture, terrorism, pillaging and repression that Quaddafi seemed to enjoy, and which made him one of the most hated men on the planet, let's not forget he was pro-life, like me. Was it really Obama that did him in, or was it the abortion industry settling a score? You decide."